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Words mean nothing?

Filed under: Features — admin at 6:46 pm on Wednesday, November 28, 2007

 

 

After mura-murahin ng isang caller ang call center agent na si Chelsea in the play Welcome to Intelstar, a piece that I’m directing for Teatro Tomasino, eto ang dialogue niya:

 

“I shouldn’t get hurt and I shouldn’t take it personally. If you ever get hurt, remember, they’re just words—”words mean nothing.”

 

 

I was 11 years old. Kasama ako ni Nanay sa kuwarto until I was 14 years old. Nadinig ko ang pabulong na linya ni Nanay kay Tatay minsan.

“Kung hindi mo siya kayang iwan, tatanggapin ko. Sana lang dalasan mo ang pag-uwi dito. M-W-F at Sunday ka dito, kahit T-Th-S sa kanya.”

That was the last time na umuwi ang Tatay ko sa bahay namin.

 

Fourth year high school ako. Namatay ang lolo ko na tatay ng Tatay ko. Siyempre nagkita kami ulit. Say daw ng Tatay ko sa Nanay ko.

 

 

“Ano ba naman ‘yang anak natin, lalong naging bakla.”
That time, lalo ko siyang kinamuhian.

 

I was watching Ms. Gay Sta. Mesa when I was in college. Habang ginagawa ni candidate number 8 ang talent niyang monologue, may sumigaw na lasing sa may tindahan.

“Ulol! Bakla salot!”

Pagdating ng long gown competition, wala na si candidate number 8. Paiyak daw na nag-walk out. Kawawa naman.

 

1999, I decided to give up my career as a production staff to concentrate on being a starlet. I was very excited until lumitanya ang isang friend ko.

“Sure ka ba diyan? Alam mo naman ang mga amo natin, ayaw sa bakla. Baka pulutin ka sa pansitan.”

 

 

 

Inatake ako ng nerbiyos at halos hindi ako nakatulog that time.

 

Two years ago, some friends asked me to join the esQuinita group. It’s where GRAFFiTi is located. One of them made a remark.

“Mag-negosyo ka na, Sweet. Palaos ka na. Sandali lang ang staying factor ng bakla sa TV.”

 

 

 

Admittedly, he was right.

 

Nasaktan siguro si Cristine sa kung ano man ang ibinulong ni Carlene sa kanya, kasi muntik ng umabot sa demandahan.

 

Dinemanda ni Sam at Piolo si Tita Lolit dahil sa mga sinabi nito sa article niya.

 

Nagalit si Tito Alfie sa mga litanya ni Tita Lolit.

 

 

Nasaktan si Mommy Eva sa mga sinabi ng anak niyang si Royette Padilla sa Showbiz Central last Sunday.

 

 

Naiyak ako sa mga binitawang salita ni John Lloyd sa pelikulang One More Chance. Maryosep, ang husay ni John Lloyd.

 

 

 

That is why these days, I am very careful sa mga words na ginagamit ko. If I am stating a fact, hindi ko na lang binabanggit ang name ng mga taong involved. Check my last blog entry, Showbiz Math. Kahit totoo na ang sinasabi ko at kahit may ebidensya ako at mga testigo, maingat pa din ako. Sad na mayroon pa din nagalit. Truth really hurts. Tsk tsk tsk.

 

 

 

It was so easy for Chelsea to say, “words mean nothing,” kasi siguro it was just a job at hindi naman niya kilala ang kausap niya. In my case, words from people that I know and love mean everything. Gano’n siguro ‘yon. Words are just words, but if they come from people that are important to you, they truly hurt.

 

 

 

Now, I will answer your questions and I will try to use words that will not hurt you.

 

EYM, si Dingdong at Karylle pa din. Nagtayo nga sila ng resto/bar sa Timog. Ang sweet.

 

 

MUSLIM, nakapag-show na ako sa malaking venue. Year 2002 sa Folk Arts Theater. Nauna ako sa mga bakla. May pagka-ambisyosa nga. In fairness, madaming tao pero di puno. Namigay nga kami ng tickets.

 

 

US MAN, nasa Amerika na daw si JV Villar. May nagsabi sa akin na nagpakasal na daw.

 

 

HOLLYWOOD, bakit naman ako mate-threaten kung blogger na din si Zsa Zsa at Candy? Mga friends ko sila at iba naman ang style ng pagsusulat namin. Naku, antayin mo pa yung isa pang parating na blogger, matutuwa ka. The more the merrier.

 

 

PRETTY, kung happy ka na nasa Christmas station ID ako ng GMA, e, mas lalo naman ako. Nakaka-proud!

 

 

GLAMS, JAIMEE, JOHN, ang galing niyo naman manghula. Bakit?

 

NEUTRAL, never kong sinabing banal ako. I am sorry kung na-offend ka sa pag-mention ko kay God but He is my God, too. I’m sure He won’t mind. Sometimes, facts of life need some judgment. Sa comment mo, mukhang religious ka. Never ka ba nag-judge ng kapwa mo? Pinaratangan mo nga ako na I used God’s name in vain. Now that’s hypocricy. Please be careful with the words you use. Sabagay, hindi naman kita kilala.

Showbiz Math

Filed under: Features — admin at 12:00 pm on Tuesday, November 20, 2007

I live in Project 8, Quezon City. I am renting the townhouse of Direk Wenn Deramas, who is now staying in a bigger house he built three years ago. Everyday, wherever I go, I pass by Mindanao Avenue and crosses Congressional Avenue. At the corner of those two avenues, there is a pre-school that now has a prominet signage, “Singapore Math.” I would laugh everytime I would read it. Natatawa kasi ako sa idea na may sariling math ang bansang Singapore. Ang taray! I don’t know kung ano ‘yon at kung bakit ino-offer sa mga pre-schoolers, basta natatawa ako.

Sana meron ding Philippine Math or, better yet, Showbiz Math. After 14 years (I will celebrate my 15th anniversary next year) in showbiz, I have come up with some mathematical equations na feeling ko totoo.

Bata pa lang ako, mahilig na ako sa showbiz, but I didn’t realize that I would be a part of it. I started as a researcher for the defunct showbiz-oriented talk show, Showbiz Lingo. I was promoted as a head researcher in less than a year and eventually became a segment producer. I moonlighted as a chiwariwap in Cristy Perminute at the same time. When The Buzz replaced Showbiz Lingo, I was again promoted as the creative associate producer. I was a starlet na that time, so medyo busy na. After a year, I asked my boss to demote me from an associate producer to a creative specialist. Taga-check lang ako ng mga chismis at bigay lang ng mga ideas. In other words, laway lang ang katapat.

By the year 2000, I became a full-time actor. Nakapag-guest ako in all kinds of shows and was able to meet all kinds of artista. Then I became a co-host of The Buzz, a host of ETK (and so I thought pero segment host lang pala), co-host of S-Files, and now, a main host in Showbiz Central.

Given my credentials, mukhang tama naman ang equations ko. Class! Get your papers, pens, calculators, and compute the following equations:

HYPE + LOOKS – EXPERIENCE = FLOP

Yung newest love team na sobrang dami daw ng fans at may mga commercials, nag-flop ang launching movie. Mabait pa naman at may konting talent ang mga batang ito pero dahil sa hype, nahinog sa pilit. This should also serve as a warning sa mga managers at magulang ng mga teen stars na nagbabayad ng fans para tilian ang mga anak at alaga nila. Why? Because you will never know kung talagang may fans ang mga bagets. Kawawa naman. Longtime ang trauma sa mga bata pag may nag-flop sa buhay nila. Sabagay, hindi niyo naman sasabihin sa kanila na flop sila. ‘Yon na!

TALENT + CLOUT + GOOD ATTITUDE + X = TENGGA

X should be determined dahil hindi ko ma-get kung bakit natengga a few months ago ang Comedy Concert Queen na si Ms. Aiai delas Alas. Umabot pa sa point na muntik na siyang bumalik sa GMA. I watched her Greatest Performance concert last Friday. Ang galing niya at super nakakatawa. Naging Box-Office Queen na siya dahil sa Ang Tanging Ina Mo, at malamang next year ulit dahil box-office na naman ang Ang Cute Ng Ina Mo, at malamang ang PASUKOB na showing na sa November 28.

LOOKS – TALENT + CONNECTION = FLOP

Remember ‘yong bagets na galing sa reality show na nakita kong may kasamang direktor sa sinehan? Wala daw talent. Kaya kahit anong gawin ni Direk na rekomenda sa mga shows, e, tinatanggihan. Warning sa lahat ng bagets (girls or boys), kung papatol kay Direk, dapat may show na.

LOOKS + TALENT – GOOD ATTITUDE = MAG-FLOP SANA

May isang actor na lumipat ng TV network, suplado daw at mayabang. I saw him recently. Nag-smile ako pero dedma. Nakalimutan niya yata na ako ang nagpakilala sa kanya sa isang big boss sa network niya ngayon. Kung hindi ako nagkakamali, nagbigayan sila ng number that night. Pinag-uusapan siya ng mga kumpare ko sa gym the other day. Mayabang daw, kasi maganda nga ang katawan pero nakita daw nila sa CR, ang liit naman daw ng nota. I told them ilo-launch na ang TV show niya. Say nila, mag-flop sana. Hahaha.

TALENT + EXPERIENCE + LOOKS – X = TENGGA

To be determined ang X. Si Snooky ang magko-compute. Try niyo din kung alam niyo. Go!
CLOUT + PR – TALENT = WAGI

Hanggang ngayon, madami ang nagtataka kung bakit pinagho-host si TV host, e, bulol naman daw at hindi talaga marunong. Well, class, malaking impluwensiya ang clout at PR. Those could bring you in to the four corners of Showbizlandia with popcorns and cotton candy pa. Exciting, isn’t it?

PR – TALENT – LOOKS + X = WAGI

May isang starlet noong araw, nakapangasawa ng mayaman. Nag-produce ng sariling show. Walang kwenta ang show. Nagwagi ng award. Sa mga nagtawanan nang manalo siya ng award, kayo ang mag-compute ng X. Go!

LOOKS + PR + CLOUT – TALENT = WAGI

Oh yes, class! Looks can get you anywhere. Maski hindi sa showbiz, wagi ‘yan. Sa mga nasa office, may boss ka bang mas maganda or gwapo sa iyo pero walang alam? Sa mga nasa school, pag may program ba kayo, kahit kayo ang pinakamagaling sumayaw, e, di ba iba ang nasa harapan? Chances are, gwapo ‘yan or maganda. May kilala akong artistang ganyan. Pero na-transposed niya ang kawalan niya ng talent sa good character kaya wagi na din. Sa showbiz, mas mataas ang equivalent ng good character keysa sa talent.

TALENT + CLOUT – HONESTY = FLOP

Si singer ang galing kumanta. May looks naman kahit papaano at malakas ang clout. Pero parang hindi sumikat-sikat. Well, gay daw kasi. Importante sa singer ang X factor. Pag kumakanta sila, dapat parang may inaakit. E, si singer daw, hindi sigurado kung lalaki or babae ang inaakit pag kumakanta. Kawawa naman. Kilala ko ang manager niya, hinahanapan siya ng kapalit sa trono. Tsk tsk tsk.

TALENT + CONFIDENCE + HONESTY + PRAYER = WAGI

Ito lang ang ginagamit kong formula these days. So far wagi naman. Five movies this year, taas ng ratings ng Showbiz Central, and nomination sa Star Awards at Aliw Awards (November 28 daw, wish me luck!). Thank God!

Try niyong gamitin ang formula ko at baka magwagi din kayo. Kahit nasaan ka man at kahit ano pa man ang trabaho mo, patok ito. If you are talented at masipag ka naman, hindi ka magugutom. Pag confident ka sa sarili mo, nobody can bring you down. If you are honest, people will believe you and support you all the way. If you pray, God will provide. God bless you all, my dear PEPsters.

Ang formula ko sa success ng blog na ito ay ang sumagot ng tanong niyo. Kaya eto na.

SA MGA NALUNGKOT FOR ME on my last blog Dance, thanks for your symphaty. I appreciate it a lot. Knowing that the things I do makes you feel sad, makes me do the right things. Minsan lang kasi, masarap ang mga bawal na mali. Pasensiya na. Bakla lang.

SA MGA NAGBIGAY NG PAYO, salamat din. On the days I have no friends to turn to for advice, I would take yours anytime. In a way, friends ko na din naman kayo. Mind you, tama kayo, and I will accept the mistakes you pointed out 100%. I can’t promise that I will never do them again, but I assure you, I will try.

MS. BRUHA, last stop ko lagi ang GRAFFiTi bago umuwi. Pero pag walang tao, umaalis ako agad. Baka late na po ako dumating when you went there, or umalis ako agad.

ARLENE, korek ka John! Friend ko nga si Phillip Lazaro.

THE BROTHER, halika, usap tayo.

MARKY, 130 pala ang ticket sa Twosome ng Teatro Tomasino. Call 0916-4905128 for inquiries.

LANDER, I love Ciara Sotto. May variety show ako na dinirek for Teatro Tomasino noon and she was one of my guest artists. Student pa siya that time sa Conservatory of Music. I miss her.

VICTORIA, yes. Pero baka nasagot ko na ang tanong mo in my past blogs. Check out my other entries please. Thanks.

MUSLIM, baka kasi kung magsalita si Dennis, e, masaktan ang nanay ng anak niya or ang babaeng ka-MU niya ngayon. Dapat kay Dennis, nag-plus ng honesty sa formula niya para walang gulo.

MARIE, make your nephew feel na you will still love him kahit gay siya. Tingnan mo, one of these days, ipapakilala niya sa iyo ang boyfriend niya. Pero at first ang drama niya, bestfriend niya lang. Ganon talaga.

BLONDE, I accept your apology sister. Go and continue bitching around.

In reality, I think life has no equations. As long as you are happy, whatever it is that you are doing, even with the pluses and minuses, that is the right formula. So if you think you’ve found the right formula, stick to it. Huwag mo ng i-compute.

Dance!

Filed under: Features — admin at 12:56 pm on Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Sobrang traffic last Friday. Umulan ng bonggang-bongga kaya as usual, ang traffic. Hanggang ngayon, hindi ko ma-get kung bakit automatic ‘yon. Maybe baha sa ibang area or takot ang mga traffic enforcers sa ulan. Kaya ‘pag may ulan, may traffic. Imbyerna!

I was on my way to UST for the script reading of Twosome. It’s my directorial comeback with Teatro Tomasino as we celebrate our 30th year. It’s a twinbill that will feature the plays Welcome to Intelstar by Chris Martinez and Wanted: Chaperon by Wilfrido Ma. Guerrero.

My driver Toto was sick that day so I had to drive myself to UST in time for our reading. My route had been through the side streets of Quezon City. ‘Pag traffic sa Quezon Avenue, daan ka ng Mother Ignacia to reach Scout Chuatoco. That would be the street where Pegasus is at. Then U-turn to the first slot towards UST.

Gosh, sa sobrang traffic maski ang side streets, e, bumper to bumper! It was on the corner of Roces and Mother Ignacia that I had an enlightening vision. May squatters area sa corner na ‘yon. In front of the said area was an island that the neighborhood decided to make into a basketball court. They even put a fence and a gate to mark the area. Alam ko, doon din sila nagsasampay ng labahin nila.

There was a party that night. May mobile at sound system na naka-set-up sa basketball court. I was hearing “Don’t Cha” by the Pussycat Dolls. It was around 5:30 in the afternoon. Hindi pa nag-start ang party so the little kids decided to gatecrash before their curfew (kung meron man).

My eyes zoomed in to this boy who is about eight years old. He was wearing short shorts and a sando with The Powerpuff Girls print. He was dancing with such gusto. Ganado siya sa pag-indak at kembot. Pumipikit-pikit pa ang mata at nagkakagat-labi ang baklita. I knew right away that he is gay or will become one in about five years. It reminded me of my childhood days, when I used to dance to the tune of “Body Language” at ginagaya ko si Pia Moran.

The boys around him were laughing at him. I opened my car’s window in time to hear one boy shouts, “Si bakla, sumasayaw!” Hindi siya pinansin ni baklita. Patuloy siyang sumayaw na walang pakialam sa mga tao sa paligid. Kembot, pikit mata, kagat labi. Dance!

I had three ex-boyfriends. All straight guys.

The first one was a former call boy. Dati niyang costumer ang isang friend ko.

Nagbagong-buhay daw kaya tumaba. My friend booked him for me since alam niyang mahilig daw ako sa mukhang daddy. I am monogamous. ‘Pag may ka-s*x ako, kung ok naman, he will be the only guy that I will have s*x with. Eventually, I found myself falling in love with the guy. In fairness to him, he told me from the very beginning that I should not fall in love with him since he wasn’t open to the idea of a relationship with a gay person. He is straight daw kasi. But the moment I started giving him gifts and money (even those days we were not having s*x), he enjoyed the attention. I broke up with him when I found out that he’s back to being a call boy in Quezon City Circle area.

A few years passed by and I became friends with him again. He was the guy who had s*x with my anak-anakan since college. Remember my previous blog entries? Sinampal ko ‘yong baklang ‘yon last year. Ex number 1 saw me recently and apologized to death for having s*x with my very close friend. I forgave him. He texted me last week at nagbebenta ng TV kasi wala daw siyang pera.

I met ex number 2 at Klownz. Every time I’d do a show, I would get a partner from the audience and would sing “Maybe This Time,” while doing our own spontaneous music video on stage. That night, siya ang nakuha kong ka-partner. I asked my personal assistant to give him my number. He texted me the next day and after a week mag-jowa na kami.

After almost a year, he dropped me like a hot potato when he realized he had a big chance of becoming a star. He is now a model, and is always tensed every time we see each other. Kunwari may kausap, kunwari nagte-text, at kunwari hindi ako nakita.

I was at Cuisine two Mondays ago. Nagkasalubong kami sa entrance. Maliit lang ang doorway ng Cuisine so it was impossible na hindi kami magkikita. He was with this girl na mukhang matrona, and was doing a dirty dance with him, isang baklang nagpi-peel ang mukha dahil siguro nagpa-derma, and some male friends.

The matrona-looking woman talked to me, “Hey! John Lapus I like you. Please visit naman Absynth. I handle their PR,” she said. I said sure, then I gave ex number 2 a pat on his shoulder and said, “Ok tayo ha. Hindi na ako galit sa iyo. ‘Wag kang matakot or mahiya sa akin. Let’s be friends.”

He replied, “Sure, please give me your number,” then he gave me his cell phone. I realized he wanted me to type my number on his cell so I did. While giving him my number, he said, “Pasensiya ka na ha. Cheap ang cellphone ko.” I smiled. I returned his cell after typing my number. He then said, “Please put naman your name.” So ang dating sa akin, kunwari hindi kami magkakilala. Pinagbigyan ko na since may mga kasama siyang ibang tao. Ang nilagay kong name sa cell niya is “ex mo.” Hahaha.

Dancer si ex number 3. I met him in a dance contest where I became one of the judges a few years ago. Admittedly, I was a man on the rebound. Hindi pa ako nakapag-move on kay ex number 2 when I met him. I was sad and lonely, so when he told me that he’s willing to have a relationship with me, I grabbed the opportunity. And so I thought.

I was the one who broke up with him when he told me about his new girlfriend. Nagulat kasi ako. Magkasama kami almost every day, paano sila nagligawan?

Among the 3, si ex number 3 ang hindi sinungaling. He would tell me everything. Hindi muna ako nakipag-break agad when he told me na may girlfriend na siya. Sinubukan ko muna. E, one time, tumawag yung girl na magkatabi kami sa kama. Sinagot ni ex number 3 ang cell at say niya talaga with matching hikab, “Tulog na ako. Dito ako sa bahay. Tawagan kita bukas. Good night. I love you.” Naloka ako. Naawa ako sa girl dahil nagsisinungaling siya at naawa ako sa sarili ko dahil never niya akong sinabihan ng, “I love you.” Pag sinasabihan ko siya ng, “I love you,” ang sagot niya, “thank you.” Nine months na kami, e, sila ni girlfriend, nine days pa lang.

May isa akong kaibigang lalaki. Muntik na nga akong ma-in love sa kanya sa sobrang bait sa akin. Madalas ko siyang kasama sa gimik at sine. Konti na lang ang ibibigay kong clue since PEPster siya at mga friends niya. Basta close kami. Last week, wala akong driver dahil nga may sakit si Toto. I asked him kung pwede niya akong ipag-drive since I’d be attending the birthday party of my former boss Deo Endrinal last Thursday sa Cuisine. Belated happy birthday, Deo! Siyempre inuman ‘yon. I don’t drink then drive, so dapat talaga, may driver ako ‘pag gigimik. He said yes but on the day of the party, hindi ko na siya ma-contact. Weird.

I was frustrated last Thursday. I wanted to attend Deo’s birthday party and, I mean, to party. So I thought of another straight friend. Close ko din ito. Ako nagpapalit ng post dated checks niya ‘pag wala na siyang pera. Ulilang lubos na siya so sustentado ng mga kamag-anak from both mother and father side. Ang feeling ko, alcoholic siya although he’s been denying it. Wala na kasi akong makitang reason kung bakit ubos na niya ang allowance niya until October of next year. E, di ba, denial ang number one characteristic ng isang alcoholic? I still care for him. Mabait siya and we have common friends from Days with the Lord. Siya na lang yata ang hindi member ng Days sa mga barkada niya.

In fairness, siya ang nag-drive sa akin sa party ni Deo last Thursday. Kahit short notice, pinagbigyan niya ako. I gave him one thousand pesos pang-kain niya at parking. I specifically asked him not to drink since I planned to get drunk that night and he would drive me home. I also told him that I couldn’t bring him inside Cuisine kasi he’s not invited.

Patapos na ang party ni Deo. I was drunk. My friend approached me. Nagulat ako kasi pumasok siya sa loob ng Cuisine. He was, I think, more drunk than I was. On our way to the car, he said, “Sorry Sweet. Naubos ang money. Uminom kasi ako ng konti. Ang tagal mo, e.”

Prangkahan na. I was hurt about the things that these straight guys did to me. It was so painful ‘pag tinarantado ka ng mga taong mahal mo or minahal mo. To the point na gusto kong gumanti…To the point that I don’t want to see them again…To the point that I just want to disappear…

Now, I’ve learned my lesson. ‘Pag nangyari pa ito ulit, kembot…pikit mata…kagat labi…dance lang ako.

Dance na kayo at sasagutin ko na ang mga tanong niyo. Go!

PANGGA, I like Gerald Anderson and Jewel Mische. Pag nakikita nila ako, nagbibigay-pugay sila. Sana tumagal sila sa industriyang ito.

VEN, baka si Eman na dating waiter ng Klownz ang sinasabi mo. Kamusta mo ako.

HONEY, I know Tita Aida. I met him three years ago in Sanfo. Mas mukha siyang girl sa akin kaya mas maganda siya. Sister niya si Deanne na friend ko.

NICKI, halika dito sa GRAFFiTi at pag-usapan natin ang Days with the Lord.

HOLLYWOOD, balitaan mo pa ako about Raymond Bagatsing please. Thanks.

BLONDE, I am so disappointed. Akala ko pa naman ikaw ang pinakamatalino at broad-minded na JOHNer. Basahin mo naman ang entry ko, girl. Kahit sino, magiging sour sa ginawa ni Sugar. You owe me an apology. Na-sad ako when you said I was “sour.”

CHEEKY, Twosome will be staged on December 11 and 12 at the Albertus Magnus Auditorium, Education Building of UST. 110 pesos ang ticket. Go!

Twosome is going to be a very good play. I know it’s a bit too early to promote it, but I assure you, it is worth watching. Ito ang ginawa kong kembot, pikit mata, kagat labi then dance these days. Kembot…Pikit mata…Kagat labi…Dance!

Impostora!

Filed under: Scoop — admin at 9:26 pm on Thursday, November 8, 2007

It was at the taping of Arriba Arriba where I first saw my impostor. That was several years ago. He was wearing an outrageous hat, which was similar to the one I usually wore as a costume, as Sweet, in that sitcom with sister Jolina Magdangal. Pero yung suot niyang hat, parang project ng Grade 3 pupils sa school.

He approached me and introduced himself as Sugar. Since ako daw si Sweet na idol niya, siya naman daw si Sugar. I remember hugging him as my appreciation of his flattering idolatry.

Few months after, The Buzz researcher Ace Hernandez got a call from his friend who was working at Holland Tulips in SM City North Edsa. Say ng friend niya, may bakla daw na nagpapanggap na ako at nanghihingi ng flowers sa kanya as an ex-deal for a certain show. Good thing, the Holland Tulips staff knew that it was not me so he informed his friend Ace right away. That same day na nanghihingi ng ex-deal si bakla, nagpunta din daw siya sa Bench asking for freebies dahil si John Lapus nga daw siya. He even went to the Customer Service Department of SM and asked for a security guard to escort him while shopping. Hahahaha. Ambisyosa!

Since nagbigay siya ng number sa Holland Tulips, The Buzz was able to contact him that time for an interview. Pumayag agad ang bakla thinking that the interview was about movie fans, pero mali siya. In the said interview, he apologized to me and even showed his face so that televiewers daw would know na magkamukha kami. I disagree.

Three years ago. May nagsabi sa akin na may nanloko daw kay Valerie Concepcion at nagpanggap siya na ako. I asked the person kung ano ang ginawa. Nagpakilala daw kay Valerie at sa mommy niya na siya ay si John Lapus at sumama pa daw sa bahay nila sa Bulacan. Naniwala naman ang mag-ina since hindi daw sila familiar sa face. Taga ABS-CBN pa ako that time at GMA lang daw ang pinapanood nila. In fairness, GMA teritory nga ang Bulacan. Sumama daw si bakla sa bahay nila Valerie at sumakay pa sa car niya. Pagdating sa Bulacan, nanghiram daw ang impostora sa nanay ni Valerie ng pera kasi wala daw itong cash na pang-bigay sa mga fans. Pag-abot daw ng nanay ni Valerie ng 5,000, e, nawala na si bakla. Opo, ganoon kabait sina Valerie at ang nanay niya. Hahaha.

Two years ago. Nilapitan ako ng isang reporter and he told me na galit na galit daw sa akin si Dinah Dominguez. She is the former sexy star na nanay ni Champagne Morales. According to the reporter, galit daw si Dinah kasi kumuha daw ako ng mga perfume at digital camera sa store niya sa Filinvest Mall in Alabang pero tumalbog daw ang tsekeng ibinayad ko. Gosh, I don’t even have a checking account.

Dinah even called the office of my former boss, Ma’am Charo Santos, and made sumbong. Good thing, lumabas na nga yung issue years before kaya the staff from ABS-CBN knew that it was my impostor.

I was one of the hosts of ETK (Entertainment Konek) that time, so I was asked to interview Ms. Dinah para magkita kami ng face to face.

Naloka si Dinah when she saw me. Malayo daw ang itsura ko sa nagpakilalang ako. I agree. Modesty aside, I’m a lot prettier. Hahaha. Nakita daw niya ang impostor ko sa Festival Mall na kumakaway sa mga tao at pumipirma ng autograph. Kagagaling lang daw niya sa States kaya hindi siya familiar sa mukha ko. Curious, lumapit siya at nagpakilala. Napaniwala si Ms. Dinah that he was me kasi the impostor mentioned my aunt’s name, Tina Lapus.

(Tina Lapus was a former actress during the black and white movie days of Nora Aunor. Siya ang laging kontrabida ni Ate Guy noong panahon na ‘yon. She is one of the 52 kids of my grandfather, Tino Lapus.)

Apparently, kumuha ng mga perfume si impostor at isang digital camera, ‘tapos, nag-issue ng tseke kay Ms. Dinah. Nakapangalan ang tseke sa isang babaeng Dayrit ang family name. Say ni bakla, ‘yon daw ang manager niya. Huwag niyo ng sabihing tanga si Ms. Dinah kasi she apologized naman to me right away and threatened to sue my impostor.

It was then that I remembered one of my aunt Tina Lapus’s phone calls. She told me that the apo of her then new boyfriend is a fan of mine. Kenneth Dayrit nga daw ang pangalan at ang pakilala niya sa sarili niya ay Sugar. So I realized that my impostor during the Arriba Arriba days and the person who “stole” the perfume and digital camera of Ms. Dinah are the same.

I called my Tita Tina who is now living in California with that guy na lolo nga nitong si Kenneth. I told her kung ano ang mga ginawa ng Kenneth na ito, including the instances when he name-dropped my Tita’s name to his victims. Galit sobra ang Tita Tina ko. Gagawan daw niya ng paraan. Madami na daw atraso si Kenneth. Nagnakaw pa nga daw ito ng blank cheques from his grandmother. So, ang lola pala ang may-ari ng cheke. Kaloka!

The night that my interview with Ms. Dinah was aired, a guy approached me. I was at my bar, GRAFFiTi (which just opened that time) then.

He was teary-eyed. He introduced himself as the father of Kenneth Dayrit. Tinawagan nga daw siya ng tatay niya from the States, and he was able to watch the ETK episode earlier that day. He begged me not to sue his son and just forgive him. His exact words were, “Luluhod po ako sa harapan niyo, huwag niyo lang pong pahuli ang anak ko.” I choked up. I didn’t know what to say. I just told him that I had no intentions of suing since hindi naman ako ang niloko. I told him to get in touch with Ms. Dinah dahil siya ang may balak magdemanda. Before he left, he promised na hindi na daw ako gagayahin ng anak niya kahit ikulong pa niya ito sa bahay.

(Read more… )

Nakakatakot

Filed under: Opinion — admin at 1:05 am on Sunday, November 4, 2007

Matapang ako.

Pero may mga bagay din akong kinatatakutan. Siyempre si God, Nanay ko, sakit, sira-ulo, taong-grasa, lasing, adik at ang mag-isa.

Hindi ako masyadong takot sa mga horror eklat. Nagugulat lang ako ‘pag nagwa-watch ng mga horror movies. Yung mga horror stories nga ng mga artista sa Showbiz Central, natatawa lang ako. Don’t get me wrong, it is also one of my favorite segments, but knowing na may mga horror stories ang mga artista makes me giggle.

Maybe because artista sila, kaya ang feeling ko, may halong acting ang sa iba. But who I am to cast any judgment? Baka naman nakakatakot talaga for them ang mga experiences na ‘yon.

And in fairness, may mga bagay akong naiisip na pwedeng mangyari sa showbiz na talagang nakakatakot. Ayan…kinikilabutan na ako.

Papaano kaya kung mayroon palang kamukha si Sam Milby? Yung super kamukha talaga. Gosh, nakakatakot ‘yon for Sam at sa kapatid daw ni Uma.

Biglang naglabas ng ebidensiya ang mga taong nagsasabi na bakla daw si Piolo. Maryosep!Katakot for my credibility kasi alam ko talaga, hindi siya bakla.

Paano kung makita ko minsan si Tita Lolit sa isang coffee shop at kabulungan niya si Piolo or Sam? Nakakatakot ‘yon para sa coffee shop. Hahaha.

E, kung nagbabakla-baklaan lang pala si Jobert? I’m sure matatakot si Tita Cristy.

E, kung bigla kayang sabihin ni Bianca King na noong sampalin siya ni Marian Rivera sa isang eksena sa Marimar, e, hindi ito nag-apologize after ng eksena kahit napalakas pa ang kanyang sampal? Lagot.

E, kung chumichika lang pala si Kristine Hermosa na break na sila ni Diether Ocampo? Katakot ‘yon for Oyo Boy, if ever.

Picture this: nagpapa-interview si Tita Anabelle Rama pero sobrang bait at walang tinatarayan. ‘Tapos naka-smile lang siya at pa-sweet all throughout the interview. ‘Di ba scary ‘yon?

Naisip ko minsan, bigla akong lalapitan ng ex ko na umiwan sa akin ‘tapos humingi siya ng tawad at aminin ang totoo. Sino kaya ang matatakot?

Napanaginipan ko minsan. Iisang tao lang daw ang nagko-coment dito sa PEP. Katakot.

Isipin niyo, iisang tao lang kami ni Jet Pangan. Hahaha.

E, kung robot pala si Madam Auring at si Mahal ay ay nagpapanggap lang na maliit?

O, eto pa, si Aiza Seguerra pala, may nota. Si Mo Twister, ten inches. Matu-turn-on ka ba?

E, ‘pag na-identify ko na kung sino ang umookray sa akin. Natatakot ako sa mga pwede kong gawin sa kanya. Booo!

Nakakatakot din siguro kung may third eye din pala ako ‘tulad ng pinsan kong si Bianca Lapus. Huwag niyo ‘kong pagtawanan ha.

Kung one time kaya, makatulog na si Kuya Germs? Hehehe.

E, kung mag-away kaya sina Marian at Rufa Mae? ‘Tapos referee si Maris na choreographer ni Billy Crawford?

Ay eto, biglang magsuot ng ballroom dress sina Uma (Khouny) at Paolo (Ballesteros) sa Shall We Dance ‘tapos hamunin nila ako ng showdown. Pucha, matatakot talaga ako kasi mas maganda pa sila sa akin. Promise.

Nakakatakot para sa mga fans ni Claudine pag ni-remake ni Juday ang mga classic movies ni Ate Guy like Bona, Atsay, at Himala.

I’m sure matatakot naman ang mga Judayians ‘pag ni-remake ni Claudine ang mga classics ni Ate Vi like Relasyon, Tagos ng Dugo at Baby Tsina.

Kung bigla kayang sabihin ni Katrina Halili na operadang bakla pala siya. Katakot ‘yon para sa mga naging ex bf niya. Awwooooo…..

Nakakatakot ba or nakakaloka ‘pag tinalo ni Angelica Jones at Allysa Alano ang mga grade 5 sa Kakasa Ka Ba sa Grade 5?

I-portray kaya ni Charo Santos ang life story ni Mel Tiangco sa Maalaala Mo Kaya? Hahaha.

E, kung magpa-noselift kaya si Mike Enriquez?

Matatakot sigurado si Ogie Alcasid kapag naiuwi niya sa bahay ang impersonator ni Regine sa Raging Divas. Super kamukha, e.

E, kung bigla na lang mawala si Gretchen Barretto, ‘tapos sabihin ni Tony Boy na may sipon lang, matatakot ka?

One time kaya, kumanta ako ‘tapos kaboses ko pala si Kyla? Hahaha.

Last na, matatakot talaga ako ‘pag sumalang ako sa “Don’t Lie To Me” ‘tapos puro lie ang lumabas. Oh, my god!

Eto na ang mga sagot ko sa mapanindig-balahibo niyong mga tanong. Awwooooo….

PAOLO PASCUAL, hindi naman true ‘yan kapatid. Nagbakasyon lang ako. Napakapilya mo talaga.

EYM, sa Pampangga at Zambales madalas mag-taping ang Marimar. Aww!

SHERVIE, nakakatakot naman ‘yang tanong mo. Di ako masagot sa takot.

TWEETY, thanks a lot, dear. I have a question for you. Ako ba ‘pag nakipag-s*x sa girl, it means na lalaki na ako?

PAMIN, oh, yes! Kumot, towel at kurtina ang mga unang gowns na sinuot ko.

ETCHOS, other people take my opinions as the truth. And I don’t just say things naman for the sake of having something to say. I have facts to back up my statement. Get mo?

BABY G, sometimes in showbiz, you don’t need credibility to entertain. Sabi nga ng kanta, “there is no bussiness like showbusiness…That’s entertainment!”

GATA, hindi ko pa alam ang next project ni Tita Celia, darrrrling.

MUSLIM, ‘pag pangit ang umaaligid, smile ka lang then dedma! Kapag hindi pa din umalis, titigan mo ng masama.

HAPONESA, sabi nga ni Direk Wen, talented daw ako kaya lagi niya akong kinukuha. Ang nakakatakot, kung kinukuha niya ako sa mga movies niya pero wala akong talent. Abangan mo ‘yong Pasukob. Nakakatakot ang role ko doon pero nakakatawa ang movie. November 28 na ang showing.

Nakakatakot din ang Showbiz Central this Sunday. May sexy actress na tumakas sa asawa niyang ginugulpi siya. Si Wendell Ramos, aaminin daw ng lahat-lahat sa “Don’t Lie To Me.” Si Pauleen Luna, natatakot sa pag-upo niya sa Central Jury. Si Richard Gutierrez, sasabihin ang tunay niyang mahal. At isang singer-actress, ginagaya ng multo na umaaligid sa kanya. Katakot. Mukhang hindi ako matatawa sa horror story na ito.

Teka, parang komokonti ang nagko-coment dito. Natatakot na yata ako.