I’ll make my blogs short and sweet so that I can update it once or twice a week. Nakaka-guilty rin na di mag-update lalo na kung maraming sumusunod sa Gspot. I just watched the premiere of Sex in the City, sponsored by our friend Grace Ang of Mercedes Benz.
I was with the Eduardo sisters, both with their Birkin bags, and met more friends in Birkins like Salome Uy. Nagmukha tuloy t*e yung Chanel GST ko kasi lahat naka-Birkin! Okay lang. What’s important ay HINDI eye-poor ang mga may hawak ng Birkin.
“Eye-poor” means matapobre, as defined by the Queen of all gay talk Imee Marcos. Mata-pobre, eye-poor…All of them were cool, not eye-poor!
Panalong-panalo ang Sex in the City 2 lalo na sa mga witty dialogues!
“Lawrence of my Labia” was my ultimate laugh trip! Pumapangalawa ang pagtanong ni Charlotte (portrayed by Kristin Davis) habang nakatingin sa 42 pills ni Samantha (Kim Cattral) ng, “Can you swallow all of that?” Pagkatapos sinagot siya ni Samantha ng, “Have we met?” Clap, clap, clap!
Lalo kong ipinagmalaki ang aking pagkababae dahil sa Sex in the City. Lalo kong kinamuhi ang mga mapang-aping kultura tulad na lang ng mga babaeng napipilitang magsuot ng Burka at Niquab sa gitna ng init ng araw dahil kailangang itago ang pagkababae nila.
Naalala ko tuloy ang adventures ko sa Oman at Qatar nang makita ko ang eksena, kung saan kinukuyog si Samantha ng mga lalakeng konserbatibo sa palengke.
Let me share a few of my adventures in Oman and Qatar.
I just got back from a successful concert in Muscat, Oman with Jed Madela. Grabe ang init init doon, 54 degrees! If Manila is an oven, then Muscat is hell! Hell, only in temperature.
Muscat is a beautiful place. Para kang nasa set ng Alladin. Lamps are sold in almost every stall in the market. “Does that come with a genie?” I asked the store owner. He just smiled. Di niya ata ako naintindihan.
Oman is part of the United Arab Emirates. It is an open city just like Dubai. And as it is part of the arab emirates, it is a city in the desert, which explains the 54-degree temperature.
Pagdating na pagdating ko, sa sobrang init, ramdam na ramdam ko na ang baskil ko. Baskil for the sosyal is short for basang kilikili (bas-kil). It is a Tagalog slang term for perspiration in your arm sleeves. With Baskil, I decided to take my sweater off. Bigla ako pinigilan ni Tita Liz ng Western Union.
Tita Liz: Huwag, kukuyugin ka nila!
Giselle: Ha! Akala ko ba open city ito.
Tita Liz: Yes, pero bago lang. They are not used to skin. You have to respect their culture.
So tiniis ko ang feeling ng may baskil. Sh*t.
Sabagay may point siya. Kinuyug na ‘ko dati sa Qatar. Dito nagbalik sa aking alaala ang eksena sa Sex in the City 2 na nagagalit yung mg lalake at kinukuyug si Samantha sa palengke. Parang ganoon ang nangyari sa akin sa Qatar minus the galit factor.
By some bad streak of luck, there was a glitch in the travel booking that Qatar Airways did for me, such that, when I returned from London with a stopover in Qatar, the flight to Manila was the next day.
Qatar Airways arranged for me to stay overnight in a hotel in Qatar but they no longer pulled out my luggage because I already had a boarding pass. Besides, the luggage will go straight to Manila. That was the gist.
It was winter in London and December in Manila. So all I had packed for the plane ride were leather pants, a leather jacket, a pashmina shawl, a sexy inner tank top and my deodorant. Upon arriving in the hotel, I decided to change my money so I could buy a panty and some things I’ll need. It was 45 degrees outside since Qatar is also a desert.
I asked the front desk if Qatar was an open city and he told me I was lucky because they just declared Quatar as an open city several weeks ago. I went outside in my tank top.
Three steps outside the door of the hotel, five men approached me and stared. They maintained a distance of one meter respecting my personal bubble. But they blocked my way so I couldn’t pass through. Then another five approached, then another six. Sixteen men, all staring maliciously. Some were even panting. Parang aso. Para akong hinuhubaran sa kanilang mga tingin. Worse, para bagang pinagpaparausan nila ako sa kanilang mga isipan. Na-tense ang lola. Excuse me, komedyante ako. Hindi ako bold star!
Unti-unti akong umatras pabalik ng hotel. Feeling ko mare-rape ako in broad daylight. I successfully got back to my hotel with them still staring. Pagpasok ko, may nasalubong akong Pilipino. “Giselle sanchez, ano ginagawa mo dito? Huwag kang lumabas ng ganyan. Di pa sila sanay sa braso. Kukuyugin ka nila!” my too-late-the-hero told me.
I had no choice but to cover up. Tense na rin akong mamukhaan ng mga manyak sa labas. I wore my leather jacket since it was the only clothing I had with sleeves, I wore my black pashmina shawl like a niquab worn by Quatari women to cover their faces. I wore this in the 45 degree heat! Ga-munggo ang pawis ko…para lang makabili ng panty! Nakakalokah!
To all PEPsters: Wait for my next blog. Part two ng Oman with Jed Madela.
I now have my very own entertainment column in Manila Bulletin that comes out every Mondays or Tuesdays so but the paper in both days.
I’m also leaving for six countries this June for a series of shows so always check my blog for more adventures with Asia’s Funny Girl—Giselle Sanchez’ Gspot!