G-Spot

Pinoy Henyo

Filed under: Uncategorized — admin at 6:27 pm on Thursday, February 18, 2010

Our beloved OFWs usually spend their holidays here till Febuary. That is why family celebrations and parties never seem to finish from December to Febuary. For the Filipinos, there’s always a reason to celebrate. I particularly noticed a game that is always in every party, be it a corporate party or just a simple family celebration—PINOY HENYO.

Conceptualized and made popular by the TV show Eat Bulaga, the game “Pinoy Henyo” has amused household members, office yuppies, old and young alike. For those of you who are not familiar with the game, here is how it is played. A word will be flashed on top of your head for your partner and everybody to read except you. You will then ask questions to your partner  about the word for you to be able to guess the word. Your partner or everybody else can only answer with OO (Yes), Hindi (NO), or Puwede (PEPsters, help me translate Puwede).  That means you should formulate questions that can be answerable by Oo, Hindi or Puwede. Example:

Word:  PEPster

Guesser: Tao ba ito?

Partner:  Oo

Guesser:  Babae ba ito?

Partner: Puwede

Guesser: So puwedeng babae, puwedeng lalake. Kilala ko ba ito?

Partner: Puwede

Guesser: Kasama ba ito sa trabaho ko sa PEP bilang blogger?

Partner: Oo

Guesser: Karen Pagsolingan, Jo-Ann Maglipon?

Partner: Parehong hindi

Guesser: Puwedeng babae, Puwedeng lalake, kasama sa PEP…PEPSTERS?

Guesser: OO!

Ang that’s how you play the game.

Here are some funny real-life stories while playing “Pinoy Henyo.” In the Buencamino family reunion, the father of Noni Buencamino (Emil’s dad and Noni’s dad are brothers), Lolo Diony, was chosen to be the guesser. We call him Lolo D instead of Tito because he is the favorite of the apos. The word is KALBO.

LOLO DIONY: Tao ba ito?

Everybody: OO!

Lolo D: Tungkol sa akin  ba ito?

Everybody: Oo!

Lolo D: Ah, tungkol sa akin…Hmmm… GUWAPO?

Everybody: HINDI!

Lolo D: Tungkol sa akin, di naman Guwapo…hmmm.. .ahhh! Kalbo?

Everybody: OO!

Sa isang  Catholic organization party , my former classmate in Poveda , Maita Martinez (sister of Benedict Aquino. Former actor, Bagets starrer with Aga Muhlach) was the guesser. The word to guess was “San Juan.”

Maita: Tao ba ito?

Everybody: Hindi

Maita: Lugar?

Everybody: Oo!

Maita: Dito ba ako nakatira?

Everybody: Oo!

Maita: Mental?

HAHAHA!  OKEY KA LANG, MAITA?

And last of my funny “Pinoy Henyo” stories was when we threw a baby shower for my sister-in-law MJ Buencamino, the production manager of Juday. MJ was the guesser and the topic was anything about babies and giving birth. Since I was in charge of thinking of the word, you could just imagine what the G-spot would come up with. When you say—a word about giving birth—of course, the first thing that came to my vegetated mind was PUERTA or any word similar to that, like p*kp*k or p*ke. Hehe. Birthing, e! Saan pa ba lalabas si baby? The partner was her husband Kuki.

MJ: Tao ba ito?

Husband Kuki: Hindi

MJ: Bagay?

Kuki: Oo!

Mj: Pagkain ba ito?

Kuki: Puwede…

MJ: So kinakain?

Kuki: Oo…..

MJ: Maalat?

Kuki: Puwede…

MJ: Maalat. May bagoong? Mabaho?

Kuki:  Mabaho? Puwede, pa-minsan-minsan ‘pag di nahugasan. Haaay!

MJ: Pagkain…hmmm…

Kuki: Hindi!

MJ: Sabi mo kinakain!

Kuki: Kinakain pero hindi pagkain! Tungkol sa birthing, di ba!

MJ: Ahhhh! Flower!

CUTE NI MJ!  Flower was accepted!  Sabagay mukha talaga siya flower kapag nanganak ka. Bukang-buka ang bulaklak!

Just for history purposes, “Pinoy Henyo” is a spin-off from the game “Kayang-Kaya Mo Ba Ito?”—also from Eat Bulaga. I saw a hilarious game played by Vic Sotto and bombshell Alyssa Alano that I would like to share with you. Enjoy!

Guess who?

Filed under: Features — admin at 2:25 pm on Friday, February 12, 2010

Maraming sikat na “quotable quotes” galing sa mga artista. I’m sure naririnig ninyo na ginagamit bilang joke ang mga quotations na ganito:

“You can never can tell”—famous award winning actress

“I’d like to thank my mother and father and most especially my parents”—former supermodel/celebrity

May isang urban legend tungkol sa isang sikat na diva-divahang celebrity na ayaw sumakay sa elevator kapag may kasamang iba. Pag bumukas ang elevator, kailangang  lumabas ka kapag sasakay siya. Minsan, may isang kagalang-galang na may edad ng babae na nasa loob na ng elevator at nagpaiwan dito matapos lumabas lahat ng mga nandoon sa elevator dahil sasakay nga si celebrity diva.

Bodyguard: “Ma’am, please step out of the elevator kasi po sasakay si Ms._______. “

Elderly woman: “”Tell her I will not step out of the elevator. She can step out of my building.”

ANG TARUSH!

Siyempre urban legend iyan. I cannot confirm the veracity of the statement. Kuwento-kuwento. Honestly, feeling ko hindi naman totoo kasi kilala ko personally itong si celebrity diva na may urban legend at super bait . Nakapunta na ako sa bahay niya at tinanong ko sa mga kasambahay at driver niya kung mabait itong si celebrity diva, at alam niyo bang mahal na mahal siya ng mga kasambahay niya. So personally, I think the urban legend is a fallacy written by those who are jealous of celebrity diva.

Pero etong mababasa ninyo ngayong sa blog ay mako-confirm ko dahil na-witness kong mangyari ang mga “quotable-quotes” ng mga artista na isusulat ko dito. Because I love my own kind, I will not reveal the names of these actors. Katuwaan lang ito para mapa-smile ko kayo ngayong araw. Masaya lang basahin kasi, “quotable quotes” talaga siya!

1. Clue: Isang sikat na female TV host. Please take note that this was 15 years ago, so she was around 19 years old, very young  and naïve.

Actress: Giselle, where does Emil work?
Giselle: In Caltex.
Actress: (shocked) He’s a gasboy?
Giselle: (In my mind only)  Ang shonga! Please, please Lord, sana nagpapatawa lang siya. Hindi talaga siya shonga. Nagpapatawa lang siya.
Giselle to Actress: No, he’s an engineer.
Actress:  What’s an engineer?
Giselle: (to herself) CONFEERMED, shonga nga.  Di bale, maganda naman siya at saka mabait.

2. Clue: Isang maganda at mayamang celebrity

Giselle: I can’t talk right now, I’m charging my phone. There’s a study that cellphones are good conductors so I might get an electric shock  straight to my brain. You wouldn’t want me to die while talking to you right?

Celebrity: Oh my God! If you do die, I’ll tell all the press, I was the last person you spoke to.

Giselle: (to herself) SWEET MO NAMAN.

3. Clue: Lalakeng komedyanteng talented (LKT)

LKT: Ganda mo ‘ata ngayon.

Giselle: Nagpa-botox ako sa Zen Institute.

LKT: Kung magpapa-Botox ako, sa balls ko gagawin, para kuminis ang b*yag ko. Tapos mag-g-g-string ako sa Boracay. Tapos sasabihin ng mga tao, “Wow! Aaang kinis ng b*yag ni ________.”

NAMATAY AKO SA TAWA. Genius talaga si LKT.

4. Eto kwento lang ng isang mataray at mahaderang production designer  sa experience niya kasama ng isang laos na action star. I believe that this story is real because production designer never lies or exaggerates.

Laos na action star: Nakita mo ba yung leather jacket ko? May continental value kasi yun sa akin.

Production designer: Hayaan mo, bukas ng umaga  ‘pag hindi pa nahanap sa set, ililibre kita ng sentimental breakfast.

5. Aiza Seguerra: Sa’n ka galeng?

Giselle: Sa bahay. Ikaw sa’n ka galeng?

Aiza:  Sa pampanga, nagpa-anak ng bata sa gitna ng daan kasi, na-stranded kami sa bridge na nag-collapse. E, walang gustung tumulong dun sa babaeng manganganak sa kabilang kotse. Tinulungan ko na.

giselle.jpg

KAYA N’YO YUN!!!!

6. Isang famous TV Host ang mahilig mag-comment habang naka-microphone pero off air. Kahit off air ito, dinig  pa rin ng TV audience.

Famous TV Host: I like your toes.

Gorgeous Hollywood look-alike Guest Celebrity : Thank you.

Famous TV Host::  Sana you cleaned them.

Giselle: (to herself) Please Lord, sana di niya ako mapansin.

Famous TV Host: (off mic) Giselle, sana you shave next time.

AT LEAST, OFF MIC.

Marami pang quotable quotes pero hindi galing sa mga artista. May nag-forward lang sa cell phone ko pero funny siya so I’d like to share it. I’m sure may narinig na kayong kahit minsan na nagsabi ng ganito. Kung di naman, i-enjoy niyo na lang ang mga ito.

“I’m sick of tired of you.”

“True good to be true.”

“Tell me from roof to top.”

“When it rains, it four.”

“Once in a new moon.”

“Please don’t make fond of me.”

“The more you hate, the more you laugh.”

“Alma Mother”

“No holes barred.”

“Keep your your mouth shock.”

“Ats if”

“It’s just the tip of the icing.”

“Connect me if I’m wrong.”

“I hope you don’t mine.”

“I wanna portrait that role.”

“The nerd!”

“Will you please give me alone!”

“It’s depend.”

“As a matter of fag.”

Pero para sa mga OFW sa Tokyo at karatig bayan, eto dapat ang quotable-quote ninyo—“GO NA!”