Two months after birth, I’m back to work with a bang, starting with a show in San Francisco. Kasama ko mag-show para sa mga kababayan nating Pilipino si Jayson Gainza, na dating housemate ng Pinoy Big Brother at mainstay ng Banana Split.
Excited na excited siya dahil ito ang first time niyang makarating sa America. Ginawa ni Jayson ang kanyang “Boy Abunda” impersonation na ikinatuwa ng mga kababayan nating Pilipino. Sabi niya sa akin, “Laking pasasalamat ko kay Tito Boy Abunda dahil kung hindi sa kanya, di ako makakarating ng America.”
Hindi manager ni Jayson si Tito Boy pero dahil sa pag-iimpersonate niya sa naturang talk show host ay nagka-raket si Jayson sa iba’t ibang mga kompanya at nakarating sa wakas sa America.
Jayson Gainza is a very good artist. When the writers of Banana Split decided to spoof SNN, they got Angelica Panganiban to spoof Kris Aquino and Jayson to spoof Boy Abunda. As a zealous actor, enthusiastic and hardworking Jayson started visiting the set of SNN and The Buzz where Boy Abunda was a host. When the writers saw that he finally perfected the signature “laugh” and voice of Tito Boy, that’s when they launched “NNN” in Banana Split. Jayson became an instant hit. Even Kapuso Marvin Agustin, whom we saw in the Mabuhay Airport lounge, admitted that Jayson’s talent makes him laugh.
Jayson in real life is naturally funny without even trying. He’s quiet at first trying to observe you. Then when he feels comfortable with you, he’ll start throwing you punchlines left and right. Born and raised in Batangas, happily married with four kids, Jayson is simple and unassuming, and does not try to be a person that he is not.
Here are some of his classic lines that I’ll never forget because I almost farted laughing (actually, I did)!
We arrived in SFO, and the Immigration officer finally finished interviewing me. Jayson was done with his interview, and dying to get out of the airport, so he told me in front of the U.S. immigration officer, who happens to be Filipino and watches TFC:
Jayson: Tapos ka na?
Jayson: Wacha wating por? Kimon! (What are you waiting for? C’mon!)
Immigration Officer Simoy to Jayson: Careful man, you might get a nosebleed!
Sa show namin sa Buena Yerba Gardens, kasama si Patricia Javier na nakatira na sa San Diego California at happily married sa isang Kano.
Jayson: Ate Giselle (Di ko talaga alam bakit ako tinatawag na ate nito), ipakilala mo naman ako kay Patricia.
Giselle: Bakit crush mo?
Jayson: Dahil sa kanya tumangkad ako.
Giselle: (I didn’t get his joke) Ha?
Jayson: Habang nanunuod ako ng mga pelikula niya noong teenager ako. Alam mo na, may ginagawa ako na nakakatangkad/.
Giselle: Hahahaha! Yuck!
Day 2, after the show
Jayson met my Cousin Aldo, who was born and raised in the States. My tita was a busy nurse so she was never able to teach him to speak nor understand Tagalog. Tsk, tsk, tsk. While they were talking, Jayson forgot that Aldo could not understand Tagalog.
Jayson: Aldo, ano ba masarap na orderin dito?
Aldo: Sorry man, could you translate that in English?
Jayson: (Opens his mouth, pauses, then says to Aldo) I’ll just email you, man.
Day 3: Picture taking and shopping day. Nagpunta kami sa Golden Gate Bridge para magpa-picture. Sa sobrang fog, di talaga makita ang Golden Gate sa bridge kaya sa lecheng signage na lang kami nagpa-picture. T*e.
After picture taking, we were informed that we were going to Costco for wholesale shopping. Perfect coz I needed to buy Kirkland Vitamins. Coming from the Golden Gate Bridge, Costco was a good thirty-minute drive. Halfway though our trip, Jayson received a call from a Batangueño relative based in Daly City.
Nanay: Oy Jayson, asan ka na?
Jayson: Nanay, ala-eh malapit na kami dito sa pag-sho-shopping-ngan namin.
Nanay: Ala-eh, san ba yan?
Jayson: Sa Mosco. Parang wala tayo sa America Nanay noh? Mosco!
Giselle: Jayson, hindi Mosco, Costco ( I pronounced it Cos-Cow).
Jayson: Ay hindi pala Mosco, Moscow!
Mabuhay ka, Jayson. Sana lalo pang gumanda ang namamayagpag mong career, at sana maikot mo ang buong mundo sa kaka-impersonate kay Boy Abunda. Sana kasama mo rin ako sa pag-ikot ng mundo at pagpapaligaya sa mga Pilipino dahil bumabata ako sa kakatawa ‘pag kasama ka.