G-Spot

My birthing experience

Filed under: Features — admin at 3:21 pm on Tuesday, June 9, 2009

I was scheduled to give birth on my 40th week which was June 22, 2009. But according to the World Health Organization, fetuses are in their full term on their 37th week. My best friend Ina Raymundo-Poturnak gave birth to a healthy Jakob on her 37th week. We were waiting for her in the baby shower we set up for her. But instead of going to the party, she was rushed to the hospital.Knowing all these facts and testimonials, I was dead set to give birth on my 37th week. All I needed to do was to convince my son Xavier Zappa to go down when all his organs are ready and baked to perfection!

May 31 (end of my 36th week), also the last shooting day of Pintakasi (an indie movie) shoot since direk Mark Meily was leaving for the U.S. and will be back on June 22. PACK UP DUE TO THE RAINS!

Oh no! Pagbalik ni Direk Mark, manganganak pa lang ako. I can’t go back to work immediately, mabibinat ako. Kelangan ko nang manganak bukas. Gagawa ako ng mantra. I will apply The Secret. All day, I kept on saying, “Zappa, please come down tomorrow. Manganganak ako tomorrow. The Lord will give me a painless childbirth without anesthesia. I will give birth tomorrow.”

June 1 (start of my 37th week), I told my gym instructor to “Bring it on.” No more pre-natal work-outs. Back to hardcore tayo. After my workout,    I went to my acupuncturist in STI Megaclinic in Megamall so that she could induce my labor thru acupuncture.

She felt my pulse and told me, “Zappa’s not yet ready to come out. I will only induce you once your cervix is open already. I thought, “Hmmm…the universe is not aligning with my mantra, must change it.”

True enough because my doctor texted me that he was leaving for Davao the next day. And so I changed my mantra: “Zappa will be ready in two days. Manganganak ako the day after tomorrow. The Lord will give me a painless childbirth without anesthesia. I will give birth the day after tomorrow.”

June 2 (37th week and 2/7 days), Doctor Raul Quillamor was out of town. My stomach was tight but I didn’t think of them as mild contractions. Akala ko, nasobrahan lang sa workout so I rested and had a prenatal massage. Besides, my doctor was in Davao, I wanted Doctor Quillamor and nobody else.

June 3 (37th week and 3/7 days), I went to see my doctor and asked him to give me an internal exam just to see if my mantra was working. He laughed and said I was due in three weeks not three days but to satisfy my “kakulitan” he gave me an internal exam. After feeling my cervix he asked me:

Doctor Quillamor: Sa’n ka nanggaling bago ka pumunta dito?

G-Spot:  Sa gym po. (I did not deny that I did have a heavy workout)

Doctor Quillamor:  “You were five centimeters dilated in the gym, It’s a good thing you didn’t give birth there. I have to admit you already.”

G-Spot: Doc, I can’t feel any contraction. Please make me go to the salon first kasi after I give birth di na ako makakaligo for a month kasi susundan ko yung “Chinese way” para di ako mabinat. Nabinat na ako kay Lia. I need to shampoo and iron my hair. Please ayoko manganak nang pangit.

Doctor Quillamor: “O siya, I’ll be around your area in case manganak ka sa salon.”

It was 9:00 p.m. when I arrived in UERM. I decided to go home first and take my “last bath” for the month, then go to  Salon Excellente, then— “kung di pa humihilab”—have eyelash extensions sa Grace Lagman, then go to UERM. At nagawa ko lahat!

Since the media crews were there since 3:00 p.m., I accommodated interviews at the lobby of UERM and inside my room till 12 midnight. It takes a 10-centimeter dilation for the baby to come out. I was 9-cm dilated by 12 midnight but still not feeling any pain.

My prayers were being answered. Instead of being brought by a stretcher, I walked to the delivery room, changed to a gown and lay down in the delivery bed. There was no action to film. I was calm and happy, so my husband decided to take pictures ala-pictorial style. Medyo na-diyahe nako sa pag-aantay ng media. Some were waiting 8-12 hours already, so I asked my doctor to induce me with pitocin (oxytoxin) to hasten my labor, but no anesthesia.

giselle2.jpg

He warned me that my contractions will elevate to a level where I might have to ask for an epidural. “Bring it on! Kaya ko ‘yan.” He want joking, when the pitocin started kicking in at 1:55 p.m., “MUKHA-ASIM” na fez ko. Di na ako makapag-project ng tama sa camera at naiinis na ‘ko sa kaka-pictorial ng asawa ko.

Sabi ko, “Hoy, lamaze coach ka. Di ka photographer. Wala kang kuwentang coach!”

Na-diyahe si Emil so he started to massage me and coach me the proper breathing. It was working because after two very dramatic alarming and screaming pushes, my 6.75 pound healthy baby came out out at 2:55 a.m.!

He was so strong, and his Apgar score was 9. One hour of painful labor and pushing combined—not bad for the prayers and mantras I asked! So my dear PEPsters, believe in prayers because they do come true if it’s part of God’s plan for you.

“Ask and you shall receive.” (Luke 11:9)

“Mangyari sa inyo ang pinaniniwalaan ninyo!” (Matthew 9:27-29)

Hayden Kho was not in drugs because…

Filed under: Opinions — admin at 5:00 pm on Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Hindi naka-drugs si Hayden nang humarap siya sa Senado dahil ganito ang tabas ng dila ng taong naka-drugs:

HAHAHA! KAKATAWA, DI BA?

Trust the Filipinos to create humor in any matter whether it’s a matter of national disaster or public defamation for a certain number of individuals.

Seriously, I am outraged with the violence Hayden did to these women. But I am also a woman with so much humor in my system and I can’t help but share with you the jokes that came out of this scandal.

Right now, the song “Careless Whisper” is back on the billboard charts and being played in comedy bars and even elite bars everywhere with people chuckling on the side.

The comedy grew worse when Hayden’s mom went on national television to defend her son. Maybe because of her anguish, she started answering Karen Davila’s question with her eyes closed. But it really looked funny since half of the time, HER EYES WERE CLOSED! Nakakatawa!

And correct me if I’m wrong, was it a wig she was wearing? Because it really looked like a wig…If indeed it was a wig, and with her full make -up, her statement, “Hindi ako showbiz, Karen…” is so questionable.

Then she suddenly opens her eyes and waves a big crucifix at Lolit Solis as if she were in a witch’s inquisition back in the 1300’s. Sobrang funny! Naloka ako habang nanunuod.

News primetime airtime is very expensive, like a thirty-second commercial would cost more than a hundred thousand pesos. So Karen asked Mrs. Kho to be very specific with her answers. Then Mrs. Kho opens her bible and reads several passages in the Bible. What’s up with that!

I was comically inspired with her character I wanted to do a vlog (a video blog) impersonating Mrs. Kho. Kaso naunahan na ako ni Pokwang sa TV show niyang Banana Split. Pero kung super mag-request kayong mga PEPsters dito sa blog ko, at di pa ako manganganak (I’m due anytime now—37th week), I will gladly record a vlog for you guys even if Pokwang did one already. I found Pokwang’s impersonation funny but nothing beats the real thing so presenting the new video of the year—Mrs. Irene Kho!

RUMORS FROM THE GRAPEVINE

I heard it through the grapevine that Maricar Reyes, a doctor (general practitioner), commercial model, and television actress, and is “allegedly” included in the sex videos of Hayden, is said to have locked herself in her room for weeks crying.

Please do not quote me or trust me in these rumors, that is why they are defined as “hearsay.” From the hearsays, the parents are supposedly asking for prayers because they cannot “supposedly” leave Maricar alone in the room because she already made several attempts totake her life. If it is indeed Maricar on the sex videos and if indeed the rumors are true about her wanting to take her life, look how much anguish and trauma Hayden caused on these women who trusted and loved him.

I read in one of Maricar’s old interviews that she admitted dating Hayden Kho “back in med school.” This means that if indeed a video was recorded, it was recorded a long time ago and Maricar does not need this “publicity” for her present budding career.

Another rumor I picked up from the Brazilian grapevine is the “motive” why Hayden’s ex-friends have proliferated Hayden’s secret videos. I may believe Eric Chua’s statement to Pep.ph (click to read article) because he had no motive. But a friend of Eric’s supposedly did it because Hayden allegedly hooked up with his Brazilian girlfriend (not the girl in Hayden’s sex video) and as sweet revenge proliferated the videos in the internet and film pirates. If this rumor is indeed true, “Hell has no wrath for a best friend’s fury.”

Kayo, ano pang chismis meron kayo na hindi namin alam dito sa Hayden scandal? I’m sure may na-pick up kayo diyan sa tabi-tabi?