G-Spot

Raves and Rants

Filed under: Features — admin at 12:05 am on Saturday, September 13, 2008

Since I’m a positive person (to attract the positive energies of the universe), I usually do not rant. But here are things that bother me and the things that I rave about (meaning, happy ako!). I would like to shortlist them to three items each:

RANTS

1. Carlos Morales’s bikini picture in Slimmer’s world. Nag-umpisa uli ako mag-work out dahil isang buwan din akong kumain at di nakapag-exercise sa Canada Concert tour naman nina Rufa Mae Quinto, Allan K, at Pooh. Gusto ko sana mag-jogging mag-isa pero nung nalaman kong may chinop-chop sa Winnipeg habang naka-iPod at nananahimik sa bus, na-realize ko na kahit saan ay may sira-ulo. Di ko pa naman dala yung rotweiler ko na si Frodo para protektahan ako habang nagdya-jogging.

In short, tumaba ako at kailangang every morning ay mag-work-out. Sa gym ko sa Megamall, tuwing umaga, marami akong nakikitang girls na nakatingin sa isang poster na nakapaskil sa Slimmer’s World at naghahagikgikan. ‘Tapos pati mga lalaki, titingin sa poster at biglang tatawa nang sabay-sabay. Tinanong ko ang personal trainer kong si Ian kung ano ba ang nakasulat sa poster at tawa sila ng tawa. Sabi niya, ako na lang daw tumingin.

Eto ang hitsura ng poster.
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This is where my rant begins. Hindi tumatawa ang mga girls—they were giggling kasi kinikilig sila! Ang laki kasi ng t*t* ni Carlos! Kita pa ugat! Ugat pa lang, ulam na!

I am bothered because Carlos is my co-actor. And after seeing Carlos in a bikini, I cannot look at him in his eyes without thinking schubligs, sausages, and gigantic eggplants! I am bothered because I caught myself giggling at his picture like I was some 16 year-old teen-ager.

I am bothered because I have to see this picture everyday of my life, at least twice a day, because Slimmer’s World stuck a poster behind the toilet door! I am bothered because after seeing his picture, I can’t wait for my husband to go home and throw him into the bed.

I am bothered because every girl I speak to in Slimmer’s feels the same way. Putting that poster in Slimmer’s is not really “healthy” for us women if everyday we have to endure these “thoughts!” Haay, gusto ko maligo ng holy water!

2. PEPster John’s comment to me. I am a fan of other blog writers here. Kaya tulad ninyo, enjoy rin akong basahin ang mga blogs ni John Lapus, Candy Pangilinan, Jolina Magdangal at Zsa Zsa Padilla. While reading Candy’s blog entry “­­­­­­­­­­­­­Endings are New beginnings,” posted last August 27, 2008, I chanced upon the comment of a PEPster named John.
Comment by j0hnAugust 31, 2008 @ 2:16 pm

HI CANDY, MAY SENSE TALAGA ANG BLOG NYO NI SWEET. TALAGANG MAY SENSE ANG MGA SINASABI NYO AT MAY MAPUPULOT NA MGA ARAL. IM SORRY TO SAY THIS PERO UNG KAY JOLENS AT GISELLE ANG BABAW NG WENTO NILA I THINK THEY’RE NOT DOING A GOOD JOB IN WRITING HERE.

Wala raw kwenta blogs namin ni Jolina?!!! Siyempre bothered ako sa comment dahil ako mismo ang nagsusulat ng blog entries ko at pinaghihirapan ko talaga siya. I always write with a purpose. Most of the time, I write to entertain even if it be in my own expense: “Ang Mamatay Nang Dahil sa…OFWS.” Or, I write to inspire, still at my own expense: “Why Bad Things Happen to Good People.”

I also try to educate and inspire at the same time: “Attracting the Good and the Beautiful,” and share my adventures, especially about facts on different countries and cultures, in a very hilarious way: “Big Adventures in Italy” and “Ten things to do in Vancouver.”

Kaya para kay PEPster John, bago mo husgahan na walang kuwenta ang blog ko, basahin mo muna yung entries ko na nakasulat dito sa taas at kung sa tingin mo walang kuwenta pa rin akong magsulat, pwes, wala nako magagawa. Suko na ‘ko! Pero hindi susuko ang mga PEPster-friends ko na mahilig magbasa ang blog ko. Subukan mo lang mag-comment nang di tama sa blog ko at aawayin ka ng lahat ng PEPster-friends ko dito. Dami ko ‘ata naging kaibigan at kadamay dahil dito sa PEP!

3. USONG SKIRT SA JAPAN. I’m bothered with the new fashion trend in Japan. Di po talaga pw*t nila ito. That’s just a drawing painted in their skirts! Kakaloka noh! Pati mga saleslady sa bookstore, labas-pw*t look!

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(Read more… )

Ten things to do in Vancouver, Canada

Filed under: Travelogue — admin at 3:19 pm on Tuesday, September 2, 2008

1. Pumunta sa English Bay at kung kaya ng powers mo ang lamig ng tubig tulad ng mga bagets na surf boys na ito, mag-swimming!  (Alam kaya nilang kalahati lang sila ng edad ko, I guess not!) Malapit na rin sa English Bay ang Wreck Beach, eto ang nude beach ng Vancouver. Gustuhin ko man pumunta, ayaw ng kapatid kong si Maui mag-nude. At bawal pumasok kung di ka hubo’t-hubad. Bawal din ang camera. Sabi din ni Maui, ang kapal daw ng mukha ko mag-nude, eh, ang kapal ng b*lb*l ko! E, Ang kati kaya ‘pag i-shave mo! Brazilian wax? No way! Let the men rummage thru the jungle!

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2. Make sure that once you see the sign outside the club that says “Foam Party Night,” you wear slippers! Rufa Mae, Pooh, and I were wearing our leather “show” shoes and we almost destroyed them! The two decided to just sit and enjoy drinks. I needed to dance. That’s the only reason for me to go to the club—TO DANCE!  So I took off my shoes and decided to get wet and wild, even if I was wearing a signature dress. Two of our Filipino hosts joined me in the dance floor. Ehem…I guess some Latinos noticed my beauty. Etchos!

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3. Pumunta sa Fraser street at hanapin ang JM7 Bakery. That is where I tasted the best La Paz Batchoy in my entire life! Si Mama Mila at anak niyang si Jam ang nagluluto. Sa Fraser street matatagpuan lahat ng Filipino restaurants and groceries. Dun din ang tambayan ng lahat ng Pilipino.

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4. Magtanong sa Vancouver Tourism downtown ambassadors kung saan-saan magandang pumunta sa Vancouver. Siguraduhin mong guwapo angpagtatanungan mo at mahaba ang sasabihin nila. Baka kayo ma-bore kung di guwapo. Si Pooh, tuwang-tuwa sa aming napiling downtown Ambassador!

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5. Sumakay kayo sa Vancouver Sightseeing Red Bus, siguradong kumpleto ang sightseeing tour ninyo sa Vancouver.

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6. Pumunta at magpa-araw sa Stanley Park. May napakalaking aquarium din dun at napakagandang flower garden.

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7. Gumimik sa Davie Village, ang gay area ng Vancouver. Eto kami sa Odyssey Club, the hippest gay club, na nasa Davie Street sa Vancouver. The night was shower power. Habang nagsasayaw ka to the latest tunes in the dance floor, may lalaking nag-sho-shower ng hubo’t hubad sa ledge every fifteen minutes. Madali lang naman mag-apply sa ganitong position. Kailangan, minimum ng 12 inches ang haba mo at kwatro ang taba! Susmaryosep! Hindi tuloy ako maka-concentrate sa pagsayaw. Napapanganga ako sa laki! Grabe! Di kaya ng powers ko! At ang guguwapo nila! Pero di sila nakatingin sa akin or kay Rufa Mae. Nakatingin sila sa Backroom road managers nina Pooh at Rufa Mae na si Ryan at Jonathan!

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8. Mag-shopping sa Granville downtown, pero dahil cheap ako, dito na lang ako sa napakalaking Dollar store sa Richmond, na pag-aari ng isang Pilipino-Chinese na si Joyce. Sosyalera divah!

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9. Padala ang pinag-shopping sa Balikabayan box ng Jolly-Bee express sa Westminster, Richmond at 50 pounds na lang ang limit ng bagahe ngayon. Mas mahal pa ang excess baggage sa mga pinamili kong tig-wa-one dollar!

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10. Bisitahin ang bagong convention center ng Vancouver, na under construction, at nagkahahalaga ng $495 million dollars! Mas mahal pa sa buong bansa natin kung bibilhin ang Pilipinas. Hahaha!

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Maraming Salamat sa lahat ng mga taga-Vancouver na nanood ng concert namin nina Allan K, Rufa Mae, at Pooh. 98% attendance, blockbuster! Salamat po talaga!

Added bonus. Kakatawa secretary ko, gumawa ng slide kasi na-miss ako. Check this out: