G-Spot

What happens in Jordan…

Filed under: Uncategorized — GSM0d at 3:09 pm on Thursday, January 12, 2012

I think the best story to start my year 2012 is to inspire you by relating what happened to me last year when I had a concert with Allan and Kris Lawrence in Jordan.

I probably would not be able to describe the awe, the energy, and the intensity that I felt in my Jordan trip with Allan K and Kris Lawrence.  The word I could probably coin is “magical”.

Mabilis makalimot ang mga Pinoy. Siguro hindi na ninyo maalaala na mga ilang taong nakalilipas ay nagkaroon kami ng alitan ng RnB Prince na si Kris Lawrence. Bago pa lang siya noon at kapapanalo pa lang siya sa Star in a Million ng ABS-CBN.

May vibe kasi si kris na mayabang dahil Am-boy na lumaki kasama mga black Americans. Kaya kapag di niyo siya kilala nang mabuti, maangas ang dating niya.

Nagkaroon kami ng di pagkaka-intindihan sa isang show at isinulat ko ito dito sa PEP. (CLICK HERE to read story.)

Pagkatapos noon ay di na kami nagkita.

Ngayong taon lang nagtagpo muli ang aming landas.

Sa eroplano papuntang Jordan kami uli nagkita.

Ramdam ko pa rin na bwisit siya sa akin kaya sinabi ko, “Kris Peace na tayo ha. Let’s not burn bridges in this business.”

I could read his thought balloon after I said my peace offering:

Parang ang nasa isip niya: “Bitch! You already burnt it!”

After we became friends, he did admit that it was exactly his thought balloon. Hahaha!

How did we become friends again?

Bago mag-concert, pinasyal kami ng aming organizer na si Andy Minodin ng Western Union sa Jordan River, Dead Sea, at sa Petra.

Si Hesukristo ay bininyagan sa River Jordan.

Excited kaming lahat at sinabi pa ni Allan K, “Gusto ko ma-baptize uli sa River Jordan, kahit tayo-tayo lang.”

Nang dumating kami sa site, sinabi ng tour guide, that’s the River Jordan.

(show pic)

Mukha lang siyang kanal na green pero hindi naman mabaho. Biglang ayaw na ng lahat magpa-baptize. Nagpa-picture na lang kami.

Then our tour guide said, “The better river Jordan is down there.”

Ayun naman pala, may mas magandang view. Para lang kasi talaga itong imburnal sa bahay ng lola ko sa Cebu.

Pagdating namin sa better place, ay, better talaga.

Iba ang vibe, ang lakas ng Holy Spirit.

Ang Jordan River pala ang humihiwalay sa Israel at sa Jordan.

And Jordan ay isang Muslim country at ang Isrel naman ay mixed ng Jews and Christians.

Sa tapat namin (side of Israel), nakapanuod kami ng mga baptism.

Nakaputi sila at lumulublob sa river, habang kumakanta ng Christian songs.

Sa sobrang lakas ng Espiritu Santo sa lugar, hinila kami ni Nanay Allan K para magpa-baptize.

We went down to the river, then, Allan sprinkled water on my head, touched my head while offering a prayer to bless me.

I felt so blessed by the Holy Spirit that I started crying.

Kris was just staring at me.

Then the Spirit prodded me to hold Kris Lawrence’s hand, and I told him while sincerely looking at his eye,  “Im so sorry if I hurt you with the write-up I wrote before on PEP. ”

Then he smiled. He nodded and pressed my hand.

Since then sobrang  close na kami the whole trip.

We went to the Dead Sea and Petra but again, that is a whole new blog to talk about.

River Jordan gave me a chance to press the reset button for my friendship with Kris Lawrence.

Before that, I thought of him as a stuck-up and proud person. He thought of me as one of the meanest bitches in town. And we both admitted we were both wrong. After our experience in River Jordan , we both got to know each other and realize the good each of us had in our hearts.

This 2012 is your chance to press that reset button—whether it be on your relationships, your career, your life.

Start with a clean slate and everything will proceed from there. Happy New Year, everyone!

Kuwaiti Adventures! (Part 1)

Filed under: Uncategorized — GSM0d at 12:33 pm on Tuesday, November 8, 2011

First time ko sa Kuwait.

Double ang aking excitement dahil big stars ang kasama ko—si Papa Piolo Pascual at ang Pilipinas Got Talent Season 1 champion na si Jovit Baldivino.

Triple ang naging excitement ko nang dumating kami sa airport ng Kuwait dahil daan-daang Pilipino ang sumalubong, lahat may dalang camera at cellphone.

Unti-unting napalitan ng kaba ang excitement ko. Kakaunti ang security dahil hindi nila in-expect ang dami ng tao. Ang kakapiranggot na security ay nag-concentrate kay Papa Piolo dahil siya nga naman talaga ang pinuntahan ng tao dun. Extra lang kami ni Jovit, hahahaha!

Biglang nawala si Jovit, maliit kasi. Para lang siyang ninja na nagsusuot sa kapal ng fans at nakita ko na lang siya sa kotse pagsakay namin. Inisip ko na si Piolo lang naman ang pagkakaguluhan kaya minabuti kong humiwalay sa grupo at magsolo palabas ng airport kasama ng mga bags ko.

Iyon na ata ang pinakamalaking pagkakamali na nagawa ko sa buong buhay ko.

Kumapal nang kumapal ang fans na pumaligid kay Piolo. Ang dami-dami nilang energy. Nagsisigaw sila at nagtitilian. Napakasuwerte ng unang pumaligid sa kanya. Nakunan nila ng picture kahit na may mga nakaharang na security. Nahawakan nila ang kanyang kamay tuwing pumapayag siyang makipag-kamay sa kanyang fans. Nahahawakan nila ang ulo, ang buhok o kahit isang hibla ng kanyang kasuotan.

Ang pangalawang grupong pumaligid sa kanya ay nakakuha pa rin ng picture bagamat mas maraming shot ng mga likuran ng unang grupo ng fans na nakapaligid kay Papa P. Di na rin sila nakahawak kay Papa P.

Ang pangatlong grupong pumaligid, maging ang pang-apat, ay halos wala nang makita—puro mga ulo na lang ng unang grupo at pangalawang grupo ng fans na pumaligid kay Papa P.

Kaya naman yung pang-lima, pang-anim hanggang pang-sampung grupo ng fans ay na-frustrate. Ang dami-dami nilang energy at pagmamahal para sa kanilang idol. Ni hindi man nila mahawakan. “Ang layo pa naman ng airport. Kailangan may picture kami at may mahagkan na artista,” sabi ng mga fans. “Teka, si Giselle Sanchez yun na naglalakad mag-isa. Di ba kasama niya ang idol namin na si Piolo Pascual sa concert? Di ba Kapamilya din siya katulad ng idol naming si Piolo Pascual? Puwede na yun! Ayyyyy! si Giselle Sanchez! Si Giselle Sanchez! ”

Biglang lumipat ang pang-limang grupo ng fans, pang-anim, pang-pito , pang-walo, pang-siyam at pang-sampung grupo ng fans sa akin. Take note, mag-isa lang po ako, dala-dala ang bagahe ko. Isang batalyon silang sumugod. At nangyari na ang dapat mangyari—nadumog ako.

Halik sa kanang pisngi, kaliwang pisngi, sa lips, sa tenga… Yapos na pagkahigpit-higpit… Hila ng braso sa kanan at kaliwa, hila ng buhok na para bagang sinasabubutan ka pero nanggigigil lang… Kurot sa pisngi, sa braso, sa bewang, sa puwet… Picture, picture, picture, puro flash na lang nakikita ko… Muntik na akong mahimatay.  Awa ng Diyos, nakarating rin ako sa kotse. Nandoon na sina Piolo at Jovit, na hindi ko alam kung paano nakarating sa car. May sa lahing ninja ata itong taga-Batanggas na ito.

Nanginginig akong pumasok sa kotse. Natawa lang si Piolo sa akin.

Piolo: Okey ka lang?

GSpot: Paano mo nagagawa yun Piolo? Eto ba ang buhay mo araw-araw?

Bigla kong naalaala yung interview ko kay Piolo. Sabi niya sa interview, “Success can easily eat you up and fame can easily influence you in a wrong way so it is very important that you have humility and a solid faith. Without these, you can get easily blinded. I guess knowing that everything will come to pass and nothing in this world you can say that you own…”

Ang bongga ni Piolo Pascual sa quotes! Gusto ko siya pakasalan!

Abangan ang Part 2, ang pagbabalik ko sa Kuwait kasama sina Allan K and Kris Lawrence.

Melai Mania!

Filed under: Uncategorized — GSM0d at 7:57 pm on Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Thank you to everyone that is watching our new television comedy serye Mana Po starring the ever funny Melai Cantiveros and Jason Francisco. Because of your support, the show has garnered the highest rating in the “Haponastic” slot. Bulk of these numbers we owe to the Melason fans, who would go as far as handing out flyers—which they personally made and printed—in palengkes and malls tours.

Melai is really funny. Funnier in person, I decided to take a video of her spoofing the flight attendants of Etihad and Philippine Airlines.

CLICK THIS LINK: Melai Spoof

Here’s one funny banter with the Kapamilya comedienne while she was with her make-up artist Pia. Yes, she has her own make-up artist, who was then covering her tatoo—a hand rosary with a J at the end—at the back.

GSpot: Melai, paano na iyan kung mag-break kayo ni Jason? Kelangan “J” din ipalit mo.

Melai: Madali lang ‘yan, Ate Giselle. Jericho Rosales!

Jason: Ambisyosa!

Melai: Kaso, hindi na puwedeng maging kami ever ni Jericho dahil nag-tweet na siya at napakita ng picture naming duha (dalawa), tapos sinabi niya sa tweet, “My ex-gf.” Hindi pa nga kami, ex na agad!

Karen (Melai’s cousin): Kuwento mo sa kanya nung tumawag ka kay Jericho.

Melai: Sobra kasi talaga ang pagka-crush ko kay Jericho. Tinawagan ko siya sa cellphone, tapos sumagot siya “hello?” Tapos hindi ko siya kinausap, tumili lang ako kasama ng friends ko. Tapos tinext ko siya, sabi ko, ‘Jericho, si Melai ito, sorry talaga.’

Tapos nang magkita kami sa taping ni Jericho, sabi niya, “Melai, can I have your number kasi may fan na tumatawag at nage-text sa akin posing as you.” Sinabi ko talaga kay Jericho na ako talaga yun.

Hahaha! I love Melai!

Mana Po stars Melai Cantiveros, Jason Francisco, Megan Young, RR Enriquez, Boboy Garovillo, Alex Castro, Johan Santos, Tom Rodriguez, Alex Castro, and Quentin Allianza. Let’s play a guessing game:

The show is seen Mondays thru Fridays in ABS-CBN around 3:30 p.m., after Agimat.

Lutong Macau

Filed under: Uncategorized — GSM0d at 10:13 am on Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Alam niyo ba ang ibig sabihin ng “Lutong Macau”?

‘Eto yung resulta ng isang kompetisyon o eleksiyon na naluto na.

Kunyari, isang eleksiyon na alam na nila kung sino mananalolutong Macau. May boxing match na nagpatalo yung kalaban¾Lutong Macau.

I really don’t know where the pun originated. But if there is a PEPster that knows where this idiomatic expression originated, and why Macau of all places, I would certainly appreciate if you could enlighten me and the readers who have never been to Macau.

I would also appreciate our Macau PEPsters to leave answers by placing comments in my comment box. These are my questions:

Medyo shonga-shonga yung questions ko. Sorry, ha. We only had two days in Macau, and one of which was for our show.

So, Keempee de Leon and my family had to cram for half a day to take pictures and shop. Sobra kami nagmamadali na di na namin inalam kung saan kami nagpa-picture at kung saan kami nag-show. Ganun kami ka-ngarag.

1. PEPsters from Macau, can you tell us kung saang park kami nag-show ni Kempee? Ang alam lang namin ay sa harap siya ng Hotel Sintra. Eto ang mga karatig building kung saan kami nag-show.

2. Nagpa-picture kami dito pero bago namin nalaman kung nasaan kami o kung anong fountain ito ay dinumog na si Keempee ng Eat Bulaga! fans. Ano nga ba ang lugar na ito?

3. We took the non-tourist route pauwi at ito ang nakita namin. Saan ito?

4. After our successful show, sobra natuwa ang Globe Telecom sa outcome ng sales nila kaya dinala kami sa mamahaling Chinese resto sa loob ng MGM hotel . Sobra din kami ni Keempee natuwa sa C.R ng MGM (Cheap namin noh?).

5. After dinner, dinala kami ng producer namin sa isang malaking monumento na parang Mama Mary. Pero malamang hindi si Mama Mary yun kasi Buddhist ang mga taga-Macau. Baka may gustong magturo na PEPster kung sino siya, dahil ang ganda niya.

6. At least, I can share something in this blog aside from 100 questions and pictures.

Nagpa-picture kami ni Keempee sa Macau Tower. Dito sa Macau tower matatagpuan ang Guiness World record’s highest commercial bungee jump. Kung kaya ng powers mo tumalon from 223 meters above the ground, par-teh part-teh! Nakapag-show na rin ako dito sa loob ng Macau Tower. It was for the world gaming association, sponsored ng PAGCOR.

There’s a part of the tower where the floor is made of glass. That means if you have a fear of heights, you would be puking all over the floor. Tense ako nang una kong makita ang glass floor. Mahaba kasi skirt ko. At kapag naka-long skirt ako, di ako nagpa-panty. Talaga! Promise! Yun lang kasi pagkakataon ko na makahinga yung keps ko. Sabi kasi ng mommy ko, kelangan pinapahinga daw ang keps pa-minsan-minsan kasi kung lagi ka naka-panty, lalo na kung masikip, puwede ka magka-UTI Urinary Tract Infection).

E, rehearsal pa lang naman kaya nag-decide ako bigyan ng time-out ang keps ko. Nang makita ko ang glass flooring, bigla ako napa-upo. Tinanong ng manager ko kung bakit ayaw kong tumayo habang nag-re-rehearse at binulong ko sa kanya na wala ako panty.

Tawa nang tawa manager ko. Sabi niya na sa sobrang taas ng Macau Tower, kahit nakatiwangwang ang keps ko, wala daw makakakita kasi sing-taas ng langit ang Macau Tower. Inisip ko, kung sabagay, kahit makita nila ang “George Bush” ko, di naman nila makikita kung sino ang may-ari ng “George Bush.” At di naman ako kilala sa Macau. Puwera na lang kung may Pilipino.

Pero sa sobrang taas ng Macau Tower, mukhang bigote nalang makikita nila from down below instead of an amazon jungle. So sorry, I don’t go for Brazilian wax. I like my husband to rummage thru the jungle!!!

Pinoy Henyo

Filed under: Uncategorized — admin at 6:27 pm on Thursday, February 18, 2010

Our beloved OFWs usually spend their holidays here till Febuary. That is why family celebrations and parties never seem to finish from December to Febuary. For the Filipinos, there’s always a reason to celebrate. I particularly noticed a game that is always in every party, be it a corporate party or just a simple family celebration—PINOY HENYO.

Conceptualized and made popular by the TV show Eat Bulaga, the game “Pinoy Henyo” has amused household members, office yuppies, old and young alike. For those of you who are not familiar with the game, here is how it is played. A word will be flashed on top of your head for your partner and everybody to read except you. You will then ask questions to your partner  about the word for you to be able to guess the word. Your partner or everybody else can only answer with OO (Yes), Hindi (NO), or Puwede (PEPsters, help me translate Puwede).  That means you should formulate questions that can be answerable by Oo, Hindi or Puwede. Example:

Word:  PEPster

Guesser: Tao ba ito?

Partner:  Oo

Guesser:  Babae ba ito?

Partner: Puwede

Guesser: So puwedeng babae, puwedeng lalake. Kilala ko ba ito?

Partner: Puwede

Guesser: Kasama ba ito sa trabaho ko sa PEP bilang blogger?

Partner: Oo

Guesser: Karen Pagsolingan, Jo-Ann Maglipon?

Partner: Parehong hindi

Guesser: Puwedeng babae, Puwedeng lalake, kasama sa PEP…PEPSTERS?

Guesser: OO!

Ang that’s how you play the game.

Here are some funny real-life stories while playing “Pinoy Henyo.” In the Buencamino family reunion, the father of Noni Buencamino (Emil’s dad and Noni’s dad are brothers), Lolo Diony, was chosen to be the guesser. We call him Lolo D instead of Tito because he is the favorite of the apos. The word is KALBO.

LOLO DIONY: Tao ba ito?

Everybody: OO!

Lolo D: Tungkol sa akin  ba ito?

Everybody: Oo!

Lolo D: Ah, tungkol sa akin…Hmmm… GUWAPO?

Everybody: HINDI!

Lolo D: Tungkol sa akin, di naman Guwapo…hmmm.. .ahhh! Kalbo?

Everybody: OO!

Sa isang  Catholic organization party , my former classmate in Poveda , Maita Martinez (sister of Benedict Aquino. Former actor, Bagets starrer with Aga Muhlach) was the guesser. The word to guess was “San Juan.”

Maita: Tao ba ito?

Everybody: Hindi

Maita: Lugar?

Everybody: Oo!

Maita: Dito ba ako nakatira?

Everybody: Oo!

Maita: Mental?

HAHAHA!  OKEY KA LANG, MAITA?

And last of my funny “Pinoy Henyo” stories was when we threw a baby shower for my sister-in-law MJ Buencamino, the production manager of Juday. MJ was the guesser and the topic was anything about babies and giving birth. Since I was in charge of thinking of the word, you could just imagine what the G-spot would come up with. When you say—a word about giving birth—of course, the first thing that came to my vegetated mind was PUERTA or any word similar to that, like p*kp*k or p*ke. Hehe. Birthing, e! Saan pa ba lalabas si baby? The partner was her husband Kuki.

MJ: Tao ba ito?

Husband Kuki: Hindi

MJ: Bagay?

Kuki: Oo!

Mj: Pagkain ba ito?

Kuki: Puwede…

MJ: So kinakain?

Kuki: Oo…..

MJ: Maalat?

Kuki: Puwede…

MJ: Maalat. May bagoong? Mabaho?

Kuki:  Mabaho? Puwede, pa-minsan-minsan ‘pag di nahugasan. Haaay!

MJ: Pagkain…hmmm…

Kuki: Hindi!

MJ: Sabi mo kinakain!

Kuki: Kinakain pero hindi pagkain! Tungkol sa birthing, di ba!

MJ: Ahhhh! Flower!

CUTE NI MJ!  Flower was accepted!  Sabagay mukha talaga siya flower kapag nanganak ka. Bukang-buka ang bulaklak!

Just for history purposes, “Pinoy Henyo” is a spin-off from the game “Kayang-Kaya Mo Ba Ito?”—also from Eat Bulaga. I saw a hilarious game played by Vic Sotto and bombshell Alyssa Alano that I would like to share with you. Enjoy!