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Candidly

Edgy birthday

Filed under: Features — CandyM0d at 2:14 pm on Thursday, May 13, 2010

I just celebrated my –th birthday last May 8.

Ganun pala, eventually you really don’t know how you want to celebrate your birthday. Parang gusto kong mag-party sa isang bar like I used to,  and invite all my friends from all walks of life. FEAR! Baka naman busy lahat, ‘tapos ang present lang pala would be myself and my family only.

Sayang, sa house ko na lang at less gastos pa. Good idea! Chosen few na lang kaya? Sa bahay, great food, great company, with abundance of drinks and express chika pa. Whnat a brilliant idea! Kaso ang init ng weather. I know that my friends would rather stay at the lanai area, where we can have the place to ourselves. It seems to be a fun idea but the preparation can be tedious.

I’ve been working almost everyday, even on the day itself. (Di po ako nagrereklamo, salamat sa Diyos!)

Saka mag-e-election, ang daming happenings!

Days before my birthday, I was very edgy. Parang sensitive and emotional. I don’t know if they have something to do with my age but, there were a lot of questions running through my mind. What have I done? What have I accomplished? Did I progress or regress this year? Did I lose focus on my goals? If yes, why? Did I stand firm in what I believe in? Or did I falter? How’s my relationship with people? How’s my relationship with myself?

I had long moments of pondering and reflecting. Ouch! Kasi laying of cards na. Wala naman akong ibang bobolahin kundi sarili ko. At yun ang pinaka-mahirap bolahin. I certainly know the truth but have no courage and conviction to face it.

Ayun!

Pag tinatanong ako kung anong meron for my birthday…Wala. Wala talaga, e.

It felt right. I just wanted some time. Pero…

7am: Ginigising ako ng mom ko kasi there was a mass intended for me. Nag-mass sa living room ng house, kung saan di pa ako naka-wash ng face ay humarap na ako sa pari. We were seated the whole mass. For his part, Quentin curiously sat beside the priest. Steady!

8am: Call time for Wowowee brought to you by production number rehearsal.

Got home by 3pm.

Wrote a script, which I submitted before 5pm.

5:30pm: GB was bugging me to prepare for a dinner. But all I wanted was to go running, hit the gym, and go body-scrubbing. He insisted. I gave in.

Direk GB gave me a surprise dinner with the presence of both our families and chosen friends at Zucchini’s. We ended up drinking at home till 4am with my manager-cousin Angeli P. Valenciano. (First time niya ever to go to my house after 15 years of being managed by her.) Isa rin yun sa mga naisip ko. Weird noh!

Next day, as early as 7am, I had to run for a TV mass that my mom arranged again for me. I am so grateful that my mom thinks about my spiritual growth.

Breakfast party followed at my house in celebration of Mother’s day.

Mother’s day special lunch, where all my siblings came.

‘Tapos gabi na. Liquor ban kaya may mga taong dito sa house ko uminom.

‘Tapos election day na!

Ang daming highlights! Hindi puwedeng di involved kasi momentous event. The controversial PCOS machine, long precint lines, terrible heat, outraged impatient voters, and so many other things occupied my mind.

Ang daming nangyari, at marami pa ang mangyayari at nangyayari.

I forgot to answer all those questions running through my mind.

Finally, I know what I really want for my birthday. I want to breathe. I want some time alone, some peace and quiet, some time for self-evaluation and scrutiny.

I feel like I’m at the edge of some cliff. My decisions will be the gauge whether I’m going to fall or jump over to the other edge of the cliff.

That’s a happy birthday for me.

Thank you GB for the birthday dinner. Thank you to my family for always being there. Thank you to all who remembered and greeted me. Bawi ako friends next time. Para sa dumedma at di ako naalala, okay Lang. Hindi naman national issue. Tuloy ang buhay. Yun na!

P.S. Watch kayo ng Here Comes the Bride, starring Eugene Domingo, John Lapus, Tuesday Vargas and many more. Directed by Chris Martinez under Star Cinema. Pa- birthday niyo na sa akin. Support our local films.