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Candidly

Koreanovelas and real-life dramas

Filed under: Uncategorized — admin at 10:11 pm on Thursday, February 21, 2008

Nahumaling ako recently sa mga Koreanovelas. As in, walang tayuan…’Pag kailangan umalis, I will bring my portable DVD player. Amazing! I have never been so involved and addicted to stuff like that. Nakakatuwa, nakakaaliw at nakakaalis ng stress. As if naman sobrang stress ko. True, compared to the people living in Iraq, kung saan merong war, napaka-relax ng buhay ko.

I was wondering lang, kung sa Iraq ako nakatira, every minute, praning ako. I guess I won’t be able to even enjoy a meal for the fear that a bomb might suddenly land at any moment. Kaya, stress ba ako?! But then again, I can’t help but ponder on things that are happening around me. Well maybe, there’s a war happening inside me (pa-deep naman!).

John Lapus advised me recently to read his blog entry first before posting mine. Kasi nga daw, madami ang nagsasabi na gumagaya daw ako sa kanya.  Hindi naman po ganun yun. Nagkakataon lang siguro. Tama din naman si Sweet sa sinabi niya, siguro dahil magkaibigan kami kaya pareho kami mag-isip minsan. Siguro nga. Kaya ang tagal ko nag-isip, ano ba ang hindi isusulat ni Sweet para hindi kami pareho? To think na ang tagal na ni Sweet sumusulat for PEP kaya ang dami na niya, for sure, issues and topics na-share sa inyo? Pero the topic should also be universal in nature…

Hmmm menstruation? Sigurado ako, hindi makaka-relate si Sweet doon. Breakups? Wala naman ako doon. Kids, playschool, summer classes, ADHD, toys, pwede…but they don’t really tickle me that much. Kaya heto ako sa Koreanovelas, na kung saan nga ako nahumaling.

Bakit ako natutuwa sa Koreanovelas? Ang simple ng mga plots nila ngunit ito ay napagsasanga-sanga. It always has something to do with their culture, traditions, elders, values. This makes it more interesting for me. It’s a fusion between the old tradition and the present development of Korean life. From this fusion comes the conflict.  O ‘di ba, nakakatuwa!!! O, baka ako lang talaga ang natutuwa?

Tama rin naman si Direk Wenn Deramas  na lumang style na iyan. Nagamit na nila Rogelio dela Rosa. Tama rin siya. Dahil Asian nga ang traditions kaya magkalapit at kapit na kapit sa panlasang pinoy.  Kaya lang, ‘di na yata tayo gumagawa ng mga ganoong klase ng pelikula.

In the same manner that my curiosity is now leading me to visit their country. Most of the telenovelas I had watched showed the splendid views that Korea has.

Korean research showed that economy and multimedia go hand in hand with each other.  Multimedia plays an important factor in boosting the economy. That’s why, the Koreans had used these tool to uplift their economy. Thus, we are now having the what they call “Korean Wave.” People are more interested to go, explore, and invest in Korea. The Korean government subsidizes films or TV series that promotes Korean culture and their beautiful sights. Tama din naman sila doon. Alam kaya yun ng gobyerno natin.

I’d like to believe na alam. Nagkataon lang kasi na talagang corrupt ang gobyerno natin. Sa sobrang corrupt ng gobyerno natin, ayan…meron tayong Filipino reality telenovela: The Lozada story that has shaken the nation again, and again, and again.

In fairness, the plot thickens. Each day, new characters are being introduced making the main plot more complicated. The protagonist sometimes becomes the antagonist and vice-versa. Surveys have been made to see if people find Lozada’s revelation believable. The answer seems to be a resounding “YES. Yes, we believe!”

Then what? Yes, then what’s next? After all these hulakabola, character check, live-for-10 hours-no commercial senate investigations, with grand standing, grand exits and grand revelations—what will happen next?

I think, even Lozada himself has given up on expecting that something good will come out of his expose.

But personally, the issue is beyond questioning whether it’s the truth or not.  We all know in our hearts what the truth is. But what will happen next? This is not a feel-good Koreanovela where a resolution inevitably happens towards the end. Why?  Every one seems to have some personal agenda besides the Filipinos welfare. Sad. Really sad. This is like a tragic comedy where the real tragedy is us and the comedy part is that we all take part in this.

I read that “a nation is given a leader of what they deserve.” Does this mean that the Filipino deserves the things that are currently happening? Hopefully not. Maybe, before do finger-pointing, let’s try to see how we can live our lives as well.

Please don’t get me wrong. I am not mad at Lozada. Not at all. I am not questioning what he’s been saying and doing lately. It’s more like, what have we done as individuals to make life better? It’s so easy to find faults on others and blame them for what’s happening now. But do we get something out of finger-pointing? Do we get relief? Solutions? Answers? Food on the table?  Haaaay! Maybe we are all corrupt in a way. Maybe we are all guilty of such a crime.

Bigat ba? Baka mali nga lahat ng sinabi ko. Kung ‘di kayo nag-agree sa sinabi ko, sensya na. Nakaka-Lozada!

NAKAKA-LOZADA: means nakakaiyak, or nakakapagod, or nakaka-confuse.

Yup, nakaka-confuse because I’m quite sure that Lozada himself does not know who to believe anymore.

People are asking where they can watch me. I have no regular show at this very moment that I am typing this entry. I do a lot of corporate shows though. Meron din akong sariling telenovela, where I used to be a passerby then, all of a sudden, I would become a main character. Meron sinasabi ang mga tao sa paligid. I would misinterpret some scenes. The characters involved in my story would say something, but mean otherwise.

I am watching my own telenovela in subtitles. I bet most of you think it is show business kasi, e.  Nope, it’s just how life is. Hopefully, one day, the subtitles will be corrected by a real and genuine interpreter.

SUMA-SUBTITLE: means caught in a situation you can’t understand; Or, to be misunderstood; Or, to be misled.

I attended the surprise birthday salubong party for Mr. Tony Tuviera. It was a simple no frills, intimate, homey, and simple gathering of friends and family. Hindi NAKAKA-LOZADA or SUMA-SUBTITLE.  It’s very basic. I realized that evening that life is very simple. Ang hilig ko lang talaga i-complicate sometimes. From then on, when I feel Iraq.

IRAQ: means to be lost, chaotic; stressed; sad; angry

I find comfort and I feel at ease when buma-basic ako.

BUMA-BASIC: means not to complicate; look at the essentials; unburden.

Nag-guest ako sa GMA-7 show, Kung Ako Ikaw. Natalo ako. Okay lang naman. I gained so much with such an experience. Pinagtanim ako ng strawberries at ginawa ko pa itong strawberry jam. What struck me the most was the fact that the people in Benguet are being paid like twenty pesos per set for such kind of hard work (pag-alis ng ligaw na damo, paglinis, pagbungkal, pag-flat, paglagay ng fertilizer, pag-ayos at pagtanim) under the sun. Though they can finish like 20 sets a day, it’s still hard work.

They wake up early in the morning and finish at 5:00 p.m. Ang daming kailangan pagdaanan ang isang strawberry. At ‘pag hindi pa tama ang pagkaka-alaga, aasim pa ito. When I look at these hard working farmers, they seem to be okay. I’m sure meron naman silang problema. Pero anong iko-complain ko before them? Wala. Baka ako mismo ang itanim nila sa lupa dahil sa mga baduy na concerns ko.

NAKAKA-STRAWBERRY: means maraming pinagdaanan; or, very precious; or, important and blessed.

Life is a stage and we are all a part of it. Nakaka-Lozada talaga ang mga given situations sa atin, everyday of our life. After  reviewing the mga suma-subtitles na scenes and characters in our life, para ‘di tayo malungkot, buma-basic dapat ang acting natin. Looking at it kasi, meron pa bang lalala sa situation natin, eh, meron ngang giyera sa Iraq? At ‘pag ganyan ang perspective natin, nakaka-strawberry ang feeling.

Headlines

Filed under: Uncategorized — admin at 5:05 am on Saturday, February 16, 2008

Tuwing nagpapagupit ako o nagbabago ng hairstyle naalala ko ang aking director/ mentor/teacher, si Prof. Tony Mabesa, at ang mga araw ko sa kolehiyo sa UP. Ang taas ng respeto ko kay Prof. Mabesa sa larangan ng pagtuturo, pagdirek, katalihuhan, at sa estilo ng pagdidisiplina sa amin.

Mga detalye na hindi na namin napapansin ngunit nakikita niya. Ipinapaalam niya sa amin ang importansya ng mga maliliit na detalye dahil ang mga ito ang magiging basehan ng malaking kabuuan ng finished product o ng isang stage play. Alam din niya kung ang isang tao ay may talento, wala, ma-iimprove, o wala ng pag-asa. Tingin niyo, “idol” ko ba siya?

Ang weird kasi ‘pag di ako napapagalitan o napagsasabihan ay mas kinakabahan ako.

Maari bang wala na akong pag-asa bilang artista? Kasi parati niyang sinasabi na, “I have no time and energy to waste for people who has no talent. Bakit pa? Matuwa ka kung napagsasabihan pa kita kasi ibig sabihin may pag-asa ka pa.” (Oo nga pala, lahat ito ay dine-deliver sa isang mababang tono.) Karugtong nito ay ang kanyang linya na: “Who do you think you are? God’s gift to Philippine Theater?”

Sa talak, ang dami niyang words na alam, pero sa pagpupuri ay kokonti ang salita, pahapyaw pa minsan. Kung mahina-hina ang pick-up mo sa araw na yun, kawawa ka naman at hindi mo nalaman na pinuri ka pala.

Isa sa masasayang araw ko sa teatro ay pagkatapos ng unang run namin ng Sanskrit play, Laruang Kariton. Nilapitan ako ni Prof. Tony Mabesa at sinabi niya sa akin, “Candy, you are so graceful onstage. Keep it up. O nga pala, you’re already casted for the next play, Ang Bakasyonista. Don’t cut that hair. Your long black straight hair looks good onstage.” With awe and humility, I replied, “Thank you, Sir. Thank you po talaga.”

S’yempre ‘di ko napigilan ang sarili ko at agad kong naikuwento sa mga classmates ko sa theater yung incident. Laruang Kariton finished. So, slightly, alam na ng kalahati ng UP Diliman.

As we were about to start the rehearsal and reading for Bakasyonista,  I got news from the SM (stage manager) that I was no longer part of the cast. “Aahh…ehhh…ano kamo? Bakit?” Sabi niya, “Sir Tony told me so.”

To cut the long story short, nagkasalubong kami ni Sir Tony sa may FC (Faculty Center) corridor and he called my attention, “Candy, there are more plays after this. You should rest for a while. Let’s give this to Ayen Munji. She’s new and there might be a lot of singing. She’s a good singer. Kailangan ko mestiza at matangos ang ilong.”

candy1.jpgAray! Taong bayan pala ang level ko!

Nakatunganga ako. Nakanganga ako. Naiinis ako. Naiyak ako.

I decided to cut class, went straight to the salon and had my hair cut really, really short. Sir Tony said he loves my long, black, straight hair.  It’s all gone. That evening, I went back to the rehearsal room, where they were having reading sessions for the new play. He didn’t recognize me at first. When Sir Tony recognized me, he said, “Why did you cut your hair,

Carmela? Sayang naman.”

I smiled. I simply smiled. I wanted to tell him, “You wanted my hair so badly and I cut it short because you told me not to.”

Sa totoo lang, parang ‘di naman siya masyado na-aafect sa pagpapagupit ko. Pero ang pakiramdam ko, nakawala ako. Weird! Ako naman ang nabawasan ng buhok, bakit ko iisipin na siya ang maapektuhan?

candy2.jpgConfeeerrrm mga marsie! Women could express their intense emotions with their hair. Ngayon ‘pag naiinis ako, magpapagupit ako or papa-color, or papa-hot oil! Basta it has something to do with my head and pampering myself. Pero kailangan talaga ma-touch ang ulo ko, kahit blower lang. It does make me feel better afterwards.

Actually, kahit hindi mo galawin ang buhok mo ay lalabas pa rin ang pinagdadaanan mo as a person.

Sa mga stress: nakakalbo or alopescia.

The sign of wisdom: White hair

The sign of lack of nutrients: Falling hair

The sign of depression: Brittle hair or split ends. (Depressed ka nga ‘no time to fix your self.)

candy3.jpgWhen you watch telenovelas, you might notice that when the character is poor—the hair is usually flat and straight. But then, when the character becomes rich, nagiging kulot. Bakit? ‘Di ko rin alam. Siguro dahil meron na siyang pangkulot, time for blower and all.

The people with short hair: Usually are the people on the go, the wash-and-wear type of people.

Over the past few years, I have gone through a lot of hair changes, color, cut, perm, straight, trim, layering, cold oil and hot oil treatments. Pagpapakalbo na lang ang ‘di ko napapatulan.

candy4.jpgTruly, these procedures have always made me feel better. Whenever I feel so burdened, I will resort to having a haircut. The feeling is like unloading and cutting off the tangled burdens in my system.

After a failed relationship or an emotional turmoil, I would resort to a new hair color. It’s like seeing things differently and starting anew. Nung bagong hiwalay ako, halos two days ako sa salon. Overhaul ang pinagawa ko.

‘Pag wala akong trabaho, tambayan ko ang salon. Tutal, libre naman ang iced tea dun kaya chika, cleaning, waxing, lahat ginagawa ko. One day at a time para meron akong gagawin next day. It’s like preparing my self for whatever is in store for me next.

There was a time, I was kind of dating a younger guy, naks! Pa-pony tail and pig tail naman ang arrive ko. Not only that, Princess Hours naman ang influence ko nun.

There was a time naman feeling babaeng-babae ako (meron mga nagpaparamdam at meron naman akong mga type) kaya naman, long ang always with a curl ang buhok ko.

What’s on your head?

candy5.jpgNgayon, I have short hair. As in, really short hair…Whatever I’m going through, hulaan niyo na lang. Basta bigla na lang ako pumunta ng salon, ang sabi ko, “Gupitan mo nga ako. Siguro, na-dissapoint na naman ako ng bonggang-bongga sa mga taong inaasahan ko.”

No wonder kung bakit nga naman, karamihan sa mga hairstylist ay nagiging kaibigan ng kliyente. My hairstylist now has been a friend. In fact, even way before she became my hairdresser. Her magic works all the time. Sabi nga, whoever touches your head, touches your soul, and parang it’s true naman.

In other words, every thing that we do to ourselves externally is a result or reaction to whatever is bugging you internally. Kaya ingat ka at baka basang-basa ka ng mga tao sa paligid mo?

candy6.jpgAng daming nagtatanong sa akin through email and all that stuff who cuts my hair. Heto siya, si Celeste Tuviera of Symmetria Salon. Ang Salon niya ay sa may Connecticut, Greenhills.

The people you allow to transform you, lighten up your spirit, and boost you up are the people you trust and, most of the time, they simply don’t know. Thanks, Celes.

Weird ba ako? Pero I know, true naman ito sa nakakarami. Ikaw, nasaan ka ngayon? What’s your “headline”?

Ladylara_16, lear1977, eym, cezangmakulit, maldita00, sheela lou, and to all who said nice things about my last post—salamat talaga! Discrimination comes in many forms.

BSB, reading your comments felt funny and weird. Reading people’s comments about you and the way you replied made me realize that we are all guilty of discrimination, one way or another.

Nina, nice one for taking care of that old lady.

Celebee, okay lang yun. Ako din naman before, naiingayan ako sa mga batang naglulupasay sa mall. Nadya-judge ko pati ang parents. Lack of knowledge yun on our part.

Discrimination

Filed under: Uncategorized — admin at 3:07 pm on Monday, February 4, 2008

On the way to Baguio, we had a stopover at a Chowking branch located beside a gas station, just before approaching McArthur Highway, to grab three sodas and two orders of butchi (Chinese dessert). My P.A.-yaya—who is small, thin, very meek, and with Visayan accent—went inside to order. My driver and I waited in the car.

A group of yuppies went in, ordered, got their orders, and left. My poor yaya was still inside waiting for her turn to be served. What’s taking her so long? 20 minutes…30 minutes…

I already had this feeling that they were not paying attention to my yaya. But I had also hoped not. I went down went to the counter where my helpless yaya had been standing for 30 minutes already.

Candy: Bakit ang tagal mo?

Yaya: ‘Di pa po nila binibigay yung soft drinks, ‘tapos kanina, nagkamali sila ng naibigay sa akin na order,

Thought bubble: Butchi and soda lang ang pinabili ko, naguluhan ba sila? o si yaya?

Candy (addressing the cashier): Excuse me, Miss. Kanina pa po naghihintay itong kasama ko para po sa soft drinks. Thirty minutes na para sa soft drinks.

Chowking Cashier: Ah…Eh…. Miss… Naku… (Grabbed the mic) Sir, please come to the counter now.

Candy: Bakit nagtatawag ka ng tulong? ‘Di naman kita inaaway. Tinatanong ko lang kung bakit wala pa ang soft drinks?

Chowking Cashier (still on the mic): Sir, counter please.

Thought bubble: Tingin ba niya, tanga ako at hindi ko alam yung ginagawa niya o bingi lang siya?

Manager came in less than three minutes. He immediately handed our soft drinks.
Bakit may double standard? Hindi lang ito minsan na nangyari sa kasama ko. Nakakaawa ang mga taong nate-take for granted ng mga mahiyaing tao.

Candy: Richard, ikaw na bumili ng chocolate diyan sa loob?

Richard: Opo, Ma’am.

In a few minutes, my driver went back telling me he wasn’t able to buy because they didn’t have change for a thousand. We were in a gas station. Hello! Ako ang bumaba. Ako ang bumili. Binaryahan nila one thousand pesos for two bars of chocolate. This time, I really felt bad for my driver. Discrimination. Who do they push these people aside? A puzzle to me.

Mall day namin, we were at Crossing around 7:00 p.m. I was with my son Quentin and two yayas. Meron silang mga big letters spelled as L-O-V-E. Quentin would go to each and say the letter (He’s on this stage where he reads every letter he sees, thank God!) Sobrang thank God! I have been waiting for that day when I would finally hear my son talk and recognize letters.

Pinaglalaruan niya yung letter O, trying to get inside the loop of the letter O. A shoe displayed on top of the letter fell several times. I heard the sales lady say: “Guard!”

When I heard that, I immediately ran to the spot where my son was.

Saleslady: Ay, si Ms. Candy pala.

Candy: Pasensiya na po.

Saleslady: Okay lang. Tinatakot lang namin.

Candy: Hindi niyo na po siya kailangan takutin dahil takot ho talaga siya sa tao at sa labas. Pati pala ang anak ko, victim.

My son, sister, two yayas, and I went to Shangri-La for dinner. My son was his usual hyperactive self. We decided to eat at the 6th floor. The minute we reached the sixth floor, Quentin saw a lot of people and got disoriented. My therapist told me that I should bring my son to the mall, let him mingle with people so he can get use to them. I was instructed that if Q starts to cry, I would simply ignore him. No kid has ever died from crying. That’s the first rule of Q’s developmental doctor: Do something about my son’s manipulative attitude.

As I expected, Quentin suddenly sat on the floor, whined, and shouted. So I turned away knowing that the two yayas were just beside him. That was the only way he would realize that crying is not the proper way to call my attention. The next thing I saw were the guards in barong approaching my son. They were looking at him as if he committed a crime.

Takbo agad ako sa anak ko. Binuhat ko agad. Sira na agad ang diskarte and disciplining strategy namin. Q pulled my hair. The guards stood there and stopped when they saw me running after the boy.

Thought bubble: Bakit? Huhulihin ba nila yung bata kasi maingay? Bawal ba maingay na bata dito? My child has some sensory integration problem but I don’t think it’s fair for the guards to crowd on him like that. He’s just 4. If you are four, adults look so much bigger in size. This is not the first time the guards of Shangri-La did that to my son. Is it concern? Or is it a warning for the adults? That crying children are not allowed to go inside the mall?

Q had some crying events inside Rustan’s. But I don’t remember guards crowding him.

Masakit ‘pag minamaliit ng mga tao ang mga kasamahan ko. Mas masakit ‘pag iba ang tingin ng tao sa anak ko.  Our culture is not very friendly with special children.

Minsan, nag-order ako sa Classic Cuisine dahil alam kong gutom na ang anak ko. Sa limang ulam na inorder ko, tatlo ang wala. That’s okay. Couldn’t finish all of them naman. The problem was they told me that my order wasn’t available after like 15minutes. I asked them how long would be the waiting time? It’s 15-20minutes daw…

Chika. aliwin si Quentin. Chika…

Aba, sandali lang! Bakit nauna pa yung order nung kabilang table?  Eh, sigurado ako nauna kami sa kanila. To top it all, my son was already restless.
Waiter: Eh, Ma’am, appetizer po kasi yung calamari.
Candy: Yung bagnet nakalagay din po sa appetizers. Check your menu please.

Discrimination—akala ko sa yaya at driver ko lang mangyayari. Ginawa sa anak ko. Ngayon naman, ginawa sa akin. Nakakalungkot. I cant’ just snap back at them. I will just lose the game. In silence, there is power. God, please make this real now. Moreover, Quentin is with me. I should always try to be calm as much as possible to keep Quentin calm as well.

Finally, the food came. Quentin was so hungry and tired. I immediately asked for the bill fearing that it would also take so long to prepare it. When it reached our table, I settled it right away without going through the list. I ordered for bottled water. The bill for bottled water came but the bottled water didn’t make it to our table on time. I was billed for the three viands which they never served because they were not available.

Buti na lang nagustuhan ng anak ko yung food. Quentin is very sensitive. It is so possible that he knows I would feel better if he enjoyed his food. Buti na lang talaga gusto niya yung pagkain, dahil kung hindi, papunta na ako sa pagiging monster. Konti na lang eh… Ako ay living thing na merong hangganan and feelings. The restaurant Classic Cuisine ay classic din naman talaga dahils sa mga bloopers nila sa akin.

My yaya may not have the strong personality. Still, no one has the right to push her around and take her for granted. She’s still a client. My driver wears decent clothes but the gas station’s convenience store did not accept his one thousand peso-bill. They could have at least checked if the bill was real or fake. My son may not be the perfect child. But he’s a good boy going through a lot of difficulties in expressing himself. Let’s make it simpler. He is a kid. Nobody has the right to look at him differently, judge his attitude, and judge me as a parent. Raising a special child alone is difficult enough. It’s more difficult and painful to see other people mistreat your child, or other kids for that matter.

As a mother of a special child, who has problems with sensory integration, I was advised to let my son mingle with people. How can I help my child if this society will not give him the chance to be part of our “normal” world?

Discrimination is real and painful. Let’s make everything simpler for the three. They are all human beings. Sana mas maging mabait at maintindihin ng mga establishments, people, mallers ang mga batang katulad ng anak ko. Uso pa pala ito? Ang baduy! Sincerely, more than nagagalit at nasasaktan ako para sa anak ko, nababaduyan ako sa mga taong nagdya-judge sa kanila…sa kanya kanina sa mall.

For my yaya, I will make do something about her confidence. Affirmation is the key.

For my son, I pray that he will grow up with dignity, confidence, and abundant love for people that might treat him unfairly in the future.

Mayaman, mahirap, normal, special: Fact is lahat tayo nagbabanyo, namamaho, at mamamatay one day. Yun…yun ang totoong judging. Kamusta kaya ako sa araw na yun? Quentin is my ticket to heaven. Because of my son, I strive to be a better person. Kaya di na masama ang loob ko sa mga nag-discriminate sa yaya, driver, at anak ko. I did what I had to do. ‘Di ko na problema if they continue to discriminate. Problema nila yun.

So anong problema ko? Wala.  I Just shared my discriminating experiences.