Lights…camera…action!

Parang two weeks na akong kinukulit ng cousin ko na si Myra, who stays in Alabang, na pupunta daw sila sa Q.C. ng isa ko pang cousin to take lessons. It’s a chance daw for us to bond, bilang bibihira naman silang lumuwas from Alabang. Opo, probinsiya na ang pakiramdam ko sa Alabang dahil sangdamukal na pasensiya at pang-unawa ang babaunin mo sa sobrang traffic. Pero sila, parang sanay na sila sa ganun. Minsan naman maluwag todo. Smooth sailing ang biyahe.

Parang babaeng merong irregular menstrual period ang traffic situation from North going to South and vice versa. Alam mo na talaga kung kailan ang traffic kaya iiwasan mo, kaso minsan, napapaaga or madaling araw na saka pa lang magta-traffic.

Kaya dapat, there should really be a valid reason for one to travel. Lessons, why not?
Ayun, nalaman ko, make-up lessons! Teka, ano ulit? make-up lessons? Huh? May balak bang maging make-up artist itong mga pinsan ko? Saka hindi ko kailangan itong make-up lesson ngayon. Kung lessons iyan how to be thin, baka mag-full enroll ako.

Ang ending, wa na ako join sa lesson. Tambay na lang ako para chumika. Last hour of the four-hour session of the class ako dumating. I saw how involved my cousins were. Totoo ba talagang hindi sila marunong mag-make-up?

As I was silently observing the teachers, my cousins…I realized that they really don’t know how to put on make-up. Grabe! Na-weirduhan ako bakit hindi sila marunong. Kung sabagay, both of them are hardworking full-fledged housewives. Kung sabagay, kelangan bang naka-make up sila sa loob ng bahay? But I have to admit, they both are pretty good parents, wives, cooks, and etc. Pero bakit di sila marunong mag-make-up?

Kakatuwa din naman si Hazel, yung make-up teacher, whose make up and photography studio is located at the Venezza Plaza, in front of Burger King on Timog Avenue, Quezon City. I thought that putting on make-up was quite normal. It comes like second nature to a lady. Hindi pala! Pero ang huhusay ng mga cousins kong ito na magbalot ng notebooks ng anak nila. Lahat ay ginagawa nilang personalized. Truly, each person is created differently but we have to learn to blend and co-exist with each other.

PROUD OF CULTURE. I am so proud to be part of the press conference for PIAF 2010, Philippine International Arts Festival, this February. NCCA (National Commission for Culture and the Arts) Chairman Vilma Labrador was there and pointed out that February is the heart month. Totoo nga naman. They chose February because our own works, culture, heritage, artistry should be dealt with love. That’s the way to move forward, and in the long run, achieve economic growth. And aside from loving the arts, there should also be passion and responsibility.

I experienced riding the beautiful carriage, which toured us around the Intramuros area. The manong kutsero found a way to escape the traffic. I was in awe.

People in full Filipino costumes welcomed me. Ganda talaga! There were ati-atihans, higantes, mime artists, street performers, marching band, and a grand train situated in front of Barbara’s. As I went up the carved stairs, kundiman singers serenaded every visitor that arrived. Pag enter, give sila ng welcome drink, buko with its shell pa talaga.

Amoy na amoy ko ang kulturang Pinoy. Merong mga sumayaw at talaga namang napamangha nila ako. Bakit hindi natin isama ang mga ito sa mga pelikula o palabas natin?

Para makita naman ng marami ang ating kultura? Hindi lang para sa mga dayuhan kundi para sa mga kapwa nating Pilipino, na nakikihiram na lang ng kultura ng iba. Sayang! Ang kulay at ang lago ng kulturang Pinoy bilang meron tayong influence ng mga nag-colonize sa atin. Fusion nga ang ending, e. Ganda, di ba?!!

ASIANOVELA RULES! Speaking of movies, heto na naman kami ni Gagay (Gelli de Belen) at nag-volt in na naman kami nang bonggang-bongga! We really wanted to have some bonding time and updates on each other’s status. Yung totoong status, ha, hindi lang pang-Facebook or Twitter.

And we did. Pero sandali lang.

Hehehehe! Kasi nagsimula na naman kaming i-discuss ng latest Asian series na pinapanood namin, the sites (including online streaming websites) we visited to get updated about Korean artists, good actors, good series, and the difference of a Taiwanese series from a Korean to a Japanese and Filipino drama series. Ibang level na ang knowledge namin sa mga ito given our observation and non-stop watching.

Whenever we watch their series, ke period or modern ang setting, amoy namin ang touch ng culture nila. Pareho kaming agree na ang Japanese series, they usually tackle mid-life crisis and fast-phased life of the characters. Ang acting minsan, papuntang anime.

Taiwanese series has a fast way of telling their stories and usually, feel-good talaga sila. Pareho din yung ayaw naming mga artista, as if naman close kami sa kanila.

Malinis gumawa ang Korean, saka madetalye. Hindi pilit ang mga biglang twists and turns ng story. Sobra kaming high sa mga K-pop and all. Hindi na kami nakatiis at nanood kami ng gabing yun. Kanya-kanya kaming laptop watch kami and compare notes. Alam na rin namin kung pangit ang seriesjust by watching the first episode.

Hanggang sa make-up nila ay analyze kami. Dito kasi sa atin, kahit matutulog, buo ang kilay at markado ang blush. ‘Tapos pag matanda, kailangan lagyan ng white sa buhok na hindi sa roots nanggaling. Yung white, nilalagay na parang streaks of a squirrel ang itsura. Hindi nagmukhang matanda yung artist, mas mukhang rocker.

REFLECTIONS IN ARANETA. Ang Araneta Coliseum pala, hindi lang para sa mga shows. Nag-attend ako ng one-day recollection sa Araneta. Ang speaker ay si Fr. Cantalamera, papal household retreat master lang naman siya. Nandito siya talaga for the yearly retreat of all the priests nationwide.  More than 5,000+ na priests daw ang nasa World Trade Center at dun lang sila.

Nagsalita din si Cardinal Rosales, at heto ang point nila. Bakit nagrereklamo kayo sa kalagayan ng bansa natin? E, tayong lahat naman ang humubog para maging ganito ngayon. Ang bawat pamilya na nagpapalaki ng isang bata, kamusta naman ang pinapakita ninyo sa mga batang ito? Anong inaarte natin? Kung ano ang gobyerno natin, tayo ang may choice niyan. Sa patuloy daw nating pagpapalaki ng mga anak natin, tandaan daw na ang bawat arte natin ay siyang humuhubog ng isip ng bagets. You’ll never know kung ang anak mo na pala ang next president. Tama ba ang values na na-impart mo?

Napaisip tuloy ako. Imposibleng maging presidente ng ‘Pinas si Quentin kasi delayed nga siya. Pero hindi imposible na maging president siya ng isang malaking company. Naku, kailangan ayusin ko ang mga galaw at arte ko nang bonngang-bongga. Hindi ko naman gusto marinig si Q na nagsasabing bongga as a sign of affirmation sa mga employees niya.

Whew! Bago ko isipin ang Philippine film industry, ayusin ko na muna ang Pangilinan household.

Kaya wag tayong umarte na parang wala tayong contribution sa problem ng bansang ito. Kung wala kang ginagawa at all. Kasalanan din yun. Ayaw ko na umarte na parang every thing will be okay. Election na naman, kanya-kanyang acting ang mga kandidato. Kanya-kanyang TV ads na parang hindi sila umaarte. Kaya wag TV ad ang maging basehan kung hindi, kung ano ang inarte nito, o ginawa sa panahon ng kanyang panunungkulan. Nag-iinit na naman ang ulo ko. Ayaw ko naman lumaki ang anak ko sa isang presidenteng puro acting at walang real thing.

Real thing naman talaga sina Zanjoe Marudo and Mariel Rodriguez kaya naman ang sarap nila panoorin sa Precious Hearts Love is Only in the Movies kung saan nag-a-acting acting ng iba’t ibang pagkatao si Marielle hanggang ma-meet niya si Zanjoe, na siyang nagpalaos ng acting abilities niya. Every day at 5:00 P.M., ABS-CBN, nag-pilot kahapon. Cute ng story at cute ang mga director nun—sina GB Sampedro at Richard Arellano.

Panoorin niyo, ha, ‘tapos sabihin niyo sa akin kung maganda ba o hindi, muntik nang gumanda o pa-ganda na, muntik nang pumangit? Don’t worry, hindi ako aarte sa mga comments niyo. I really want to know. Oo nga pala, meron na akong Twitter account. Hanapin niyo.

Bawat galaw, event, and arte ko ay napo-post ko dun. Go!

There’s a very thin line between love and hate.

I usually get reminded by my mom that every time a loved one has wronged me, I should not take things personally. Paano kaya yung hindi “personally”? E, ako nga ang tinira. Ako ang naagryabado. Sabi ng mommy ko, “Hate the sin but love the sinner.” I’m sure hirap din siya gawin yun. Talagang partners iyang extreme emotions na iyan.

Anyhow, I just love the Digibox of SKYCable. I am no endorser but it really made my life easier. It has a lot of features that makes my TV viewing time more enjoyable. It has this info feature about all the shows time of all the channels not only within the day but also for a week. Bongga, di ba?! This is really useful for busy people. It also has another channel where the current show description is shown. How saya, di ba? To top it all, meron po siyang child-lock feature, so kung meron kang Velvet channel at meron kang bagets, di sila magkakamaling mapanood ang shows with sexy undertones.

I hate it though na ang daming ino-offer itong SKY, puwede akong ma-enganyong maging sobrang relaxed, to be complacent, to be lazy. Sa sobrang daming puwedeng panoorin, nalilito na ako.

I had a meeting with my two managers, and I just love the idea that there are two of them. I love the idea! I hate the idea that neither one of them can do anything when networks postpone tapings indefinitely.

I love running in U.P. It gives me this feeling of calmness…and animosity. Parang wala lang. I hate the feeling na habang tumatakbo ako, lalo namang pinapaalala sa akin ng aking katawan na tumatanda ako at mas mabilis ako mapagod. Lalo na pag nakakasalubong ko yung mga balingkinitan na mga bagets. I hate the youths, they make me feel old. I love the youths because they remind me of my youth and infect me with their energy.

I love new experiences, they excite me. I hate it as well because a part of me is scared about change. I was a part of Sharon Cuneta’s birthday celebration and believe it or not, kasama ako sa production number ng mga singers. Huh? Bakit? Anong nangyari? Join talaga ako sa dressng room ng mga singers  (Ms. Pops Fernandez, Ms. Cherie Gil, Rica Peralejo, Ms. Zsa-Zsa Padilla, Rachelle Ann Go, and Karylle). Ang tahimik sa dressing room na ito. Ganun pala ang dressing room ng mga singers, parang elevator na bibihira ang nagsasalita, pag bumubukas lang ang pinto, dun merong ingay.

I hate na ang papayat ng mga kasama kong ito. Para akong suman sa outfit ko. Pero di ako makareklamo kasi kay bait nga ni Inay Bing at nadalhan niya ako ng outfit. I don’t hate na payat sila. I hate the fact that ang taba ko. This is my fattest ever in my whole life. I know that I have written about my weight before (CLICK HERE to read the entry).

Now, I am not just writing about it, I am declaring a war against my weight gain. Nakaka-depress pala pag ang lahat ng katabi mo ay payat at ikaw ay mataba.

I love the new magazine of Sharon entitled SHARON. There’s an article that she wrote about her weight. It was titled “Loving Me.” Oo nga naman, everything boils down to loving yourself and not being too harsh with yourself. I love the article.

I hate it when hindi kasya yung mga pants ko na dati ay isang suot, tapos na ang usapan. I love the times when I was enjoying my eating with friends and family.

I hate it when people always mention how fat I am now. Nasasagot ko talaga sila ng, “Alam niyo bang mas maraming mabigat na issue kesa sa fats ko? Alam niyo na ba kung sino ang iboboto niyong Presidente? Matindi ang Ampatuan massacre sa Maguindanao. Kamusta na ang ekonomiya ng Pilipinas?” Mas importante ba ang fats ko kesa sa mga issues na ito?

I love it though that there are people who are brutally honest with me. Kahit anong pangpapa-cute ang gawin ko. They tell me facts as they are. “Ang taba mo, pag sumubo ka pa ng kutsarang kanin may chance na pumutok ka.”

I hate it when people start talking about other people. You get involved with the conversation. You give a reaction. Pag nagkuwentuhan ulit, lagot, ikaw na ang pasimuno ng kuwentuhan, lagot!

(Pause…after two days)

I love the auto-recovery feature of computers. I had to leave this entry hanging because I had to attend to something else. I love the idea that even if I wasn’t able to properly save this document. I’d still find the document when I return. Here I am, finishing this entry here in the hospital.

I hate the long wait that patients have to endure before being admitted. Nakakaloka! Nandun na kami sa admission office ng St. Luke’s Hospital, hindi naman karamihan ang tao, putlang-putla na ang anak ko. Tapos na ang pag-fill up ko ng mahabang form…At lalong sumakit ang membrane ko nang tumayo ng mabagal na mabagal yung lalakeng nakaupo sa harap namin. Matagal din siyang naghintay at sumakay ng wheelchair pagkatapos siyang interbyuhin nang bonggang-bongga! Ganun yata talaga.

I love my son’s pediatrician. She is Dra. Minet Bautista and she makes our life easier.

I love nurses who made the choice to work here in our country. Thank God we still have nurses to aid and help the patients. Filipino nurses are good, clean, warm, and efficient.

I hate the idea that all these efficient nurses will eventually opt to leave the country because the pay abroad is better. Eventually, we are left with none.

I love my friends, who showed concern for my son’s condition. I love the fact that St. Luke’s has wifi. I love all my kasambahay who help me out, and I can truly say that they don’t do things just because they are being paid. They are more worried about Quentin, who has given them times of joy with his wittiness.

I hate na biglang nasira ang tubig sa buong pedia area. Lahat ng kasama ko, nakaligo na at noong ako na ang maliligo, wala ng tubig. Ang masaklap nito, nakahubad na ako sa loob ng banyo. Walang tubig! Bihis ako ulit kasi ang ginaw. Biglang may dumating na bisita. Ang bantot ko kaya.

I love the idea that when you are in the hospital, every thing seems forgivable. It’s okay not to serve good food to visitors. It’s okay not to be glamorous. It’s okay because there are far more important issues to focus on, and that’s health.

I love the fact that no amount of money can equal good health.

Ang dami kong love, ang dami ko ring hate. Pero na-realize ko, the things I love are the ones that cause my hate. Love and hate are really interconnected with each other. Too much of something may lead to destruction or hate.

Love, hate, love, hate… In the end, it’s not a story about hate. It’s stems from love. I am not talking about anything in specific.

Every thing usually starts with love. Sadly, sometimes, it ends with hate because we fail to love properly.

As I look back at 2009, I realized that so many things happened to me, and we’re talking about major things here. In fact, I’ll have to carry on some of them this year. The rest, I will have to start anew to prove something.

Recently, I don’t have much time alone. So hindi ko gaano nakakausap ang sarili ko nang masinsinan. Hindi pa naman ako sira-ulo. Or kung sira-ulo po ako, hindi ko alam.

Almost every day, there was an event. There were a lot of parties to attend, and that there was no room for silence.

Then all of a sudden, we all had to go back to work. Ah…e…sandali lang…Bakit parang pagod ang lahat ng tao na kagagaling lang sa bakasyon? Wala pa akong nakausap na hindi nagsabing “sarap ng pahinga ko.” I was also guilty of  getting so preoccupied with external affairs that I failed to simply sit down and ponder on my 2009.

New year, New Life, and New beginning awaits all of us in 2010. Aba, kailangan mapaghandaan man lang sana yung new year na iyan para di na maulit mga mali noong 2009.

(SILENCE)

I made a list of my YES and NO in 2009. The NO means mga nega and YES means the positive things that happened. Naks! Kay daming NO pala ang nangyari. Pero major naman ang changes ng YES sa buhay ko.

Example lang, The Baguio Incident (CLICK HERE to read related entry) was a NO talaga na major. The reconciliation and forgiveness from the people of Baguio was a YES. That was a major learning experience. During that storm I saw my friends, and appreciated their support. Most of all, I appreciated my mom, sister, and the councilor that stayed with me till the end.

Having Direk GB (CLICK HERE to read related entry) in my life had its YES and NO. NO because I wasn’t sure if I was ready to be in a relationship. My first wedding is not yet annulled in church, but I am fixing it now. YES because he became a major part of my life and also, my son’s.

Pag matagal ka na palang sanay na mag-isa, maninibago ka rin pag bigla ka ng may kasama. I got used to planning on my own. I’d usually forget to inform him of my plans. Medyo impulsive kasi akong tao. Pag gusto ko gawin ngayon, gagawin ko na agad. With GB around, di naman pala puwedeng ganun. Kasi na-stress-stress siya at nagugulat na lang siya sa mga spur of the moment decisions. Well, we are still trying to settle our differences.

Major YES ang mga outreaches for the Ondoy victims. Major NO naman yung nangbubulsa ng relief goods. Major YES sa akin ang election. Major NO naman yung pagtakbo ng ibang tao to another position so as to not lose power. Major YES sa akin ang pagka-win ni Manny. Major NO naman ang ibang affairs niya. Kristal Klear ba tayo dun?

Major NO ang pag-gain ko ng weight. Major NO ang pagkain nang todo. Major YES naman yung thought na meron akong pambili ng pagkain. Major YES din naman yung meron akong kasabay kumain. Taray! Major NO ang cancellation ng mga bookings sa work.

Major NO ang hindi pagtanggap ng certain projects. Major YES na reveal sa akin kung sino ang mga taong maasahan ko at hindi.

Major NO ang mga hindi natuloy na projects na naisip, naplano, na-excite na ako, pero puro drawing.

Major YES ang natutunan ko na if I want things to get done, then I only have myself and my God to rely on. Kasi pag inaasa sa iba, ang daming excuses.

Well, past is past. Lahat ng hindi nagawa last year ay sisiguraduhin kong magagawa ko this year. Aminin natin, marami tayong bagay na hinahayaan na lang natin. Then eventually parang luma na, di na pwedeng gawin. I don’t get things done as I used to because of too much internet, Koreanovelas, pa-cute with GB and so many more excuses. Ang daming excuse, basta hindi naggawa, it means unfinished business. I am done with having so many unfinished businesses in my hands.

This year, I will make every second of my life as productive as possible. I will respect time so that time will respect me back.

I may have said NO to a lot of opportunities and neglected openings for advancement because I was too preoccupied with useless anxieties. Hahahaha! I worry that I worry too much. Kaya I don’t want to worry anymore because it makes me worried. Worrying brings no solution but simply leads to more worries.

I constantly need to remind myself not to worry. Worrying leads to complacency.

Complacency leads to laziness. Nakakaloka, papunta na ako sa pagiging salot ng lipunan.

To everyone that has been a part of my 2009 thank you. To all those people I hurt or neglected, I am sorry. And to those who hurt me, spoke profane words against me, and judged me wrongly, I sincerely forgive you. Thanks for revealing your true self to me. Now, I know better.

2010 starts now, no more tomorrow. Ready or not, 2010, here I come! 2010, I will make things happen.

Make things happen for you as well. Balitaan na lang sa mga happennings, ha…

Hello, PEPsters!

A blessed Christmas and a stress-free 2010!

Gosh! Time really flies so fast. I remember writing about the holidays just recently. Now, here I am writing another entry about it.

I’m sure you’ll all agree with me that December is such a busy month for most of us. Now, to give you an idea on what the word “busy” means to me, check out the highlights of my holidays.

1. I became an official member of Zonta.

Zonta is an international socio-civic organization that aims to uplift the lives of women and children. Na-convince ako ng mommy ko mag-oath taking. In fairness, maganda naman ang projects nila, kaso ‘pag puro senior citizen ang member nila, walang gagalaw. So that explains one of the reasons why i became a member, hehe.

Okay naman makasama ang mga senior citizen kasi parati kaming merong 20% discount.

2. I became part of the group that handled the UST Quadricentennial kick-off countdown, which coincided with the yearly Paskuhan.

Pressure kung pressure naman talaga ang event na ito, dahil kabila- kabila ang intrigang kinain ko.Thank God we proved them wrong. Thank God it was a huge success. Thank God for all the people that made the event such a success. Thank God because everyone enjoyed the evening. I simply thank God for my amazing December. Huli man at magaling, aba naman, rumaratsada pa rin.

Here are some photos of the UST December 18 event that drew 50,000 people celebrating the night. There were also a lot of outsiders. FYI. Free po yung event na yun. Wala pong 400 pesos na entrance fee, kontra sa balita. I heard a lot of “oohs” and “aahs” from the crowd and they rang like sweet melody to my ears and warmed my heart. Erased bigla ang tiredness and tension that I had to go through.

The 50,000 people shouted, enjoyed, jumped, and asked for more. Thank God for the successful show.

3. The day after the big event, I went to Iloilo for a show.

Teka, ika-calendar format ko na nga…

December 21: My sister’s birthday

December 22: Christmas rush. Buy gifts, Wrap gifts, and Deliver gifts…Check, sino pa ba ang kulang? Ayun, wala pa akong regalo sa PEP staff.

December 24: Hosted the 35th MMFF (Metro Manila Film Festival) Parade of Stars at the Luneta Grandstand.

O, di ba?

Pero teka, December 25, aaayyy Pasko nga pala. Sige, may I jump to a Christmassy topic. Nasusundan niyo ba ang randon thoughts ko?

Ayan, we are the caroler’s favorite. (Read more… )

Did you know that I was supposed to be a Thomasian?

My records were already with UST’s College of Communication and Arts, when my friend—who was then an AB Economics student in UP Diliman, itago na lang natin siya sa pangalang Gel Garong-Nunez—told me that there was a course in state U that fits me to a tee, Theater Arts.

Wala namang Theater Arts sa UST noong time ko.

I hurriedly went to UST and begged for my records to be pulled out. Kinuntsaba ko pa na wag sasabihin sa Nanay ko na kinuha ko ang records ko.

Naku, gusto talaga ng mommy ko na sa UST ako mag-aral. Ate ko nag-Fine Arts sa UST. Kuya ko palipat-lipat ng school kaya di pinasok ng mommy ko sa UST at sayang lang daw. My youngest sister graduated in La Salle but is now taking her MBA at UST.

Sobrang close kasi ang mommy ko sa mga Dominican priests. There was a time when my mom was trying to enter our Parish with the charismatic community but couldn’t. Parang walang tiwala yung parish priest na Katoliko si mommy. E, kasi nga charismatic community kaya todo kanta, sayaw and all. Our former parish priest then, 28 years ago, had high respect for the Dominican priests. Kaya naman, bilang maabilidad si mother, tambay po siya ng Sto. Domingo office. According kay Taba (endearmenty ko po sa Nanay ko), may I listen daw siya sa mga names ng priest.

Did I mention that she is a Thomasian Pharmacy graduate herself?

Aside from kumuha din siya ng Engineering, Law, and Architecture dun. Ha, bakit? Ewan ko rin. She ended up being a contractor and interior designer.

The first semester of my first year in college was very memorable. My mom thought all the while I was studying in UST. I would leave our house in Quezon City very early because travel time to UST would take more than an hour. The truth was I was only 10 minutes away, kasi nga, I enrolled in UP. I was surely very early in school trying to kill time.

Eventually, my mom found out when I invited her to watch my play Isang Dulang Panaginip. I remember that she watched with a very dear friend, Rev. Fr. Enrico Gonzalez, O.P., who eventually became my sister’s godfather in confirmation. He was my angel because he explained to my mom the situation at hand.

I remember that in almost all special events of my life, the Dominicans were present to say mass or simply join the gathering. I even met the Dominican sisters (monks) in Cainta, and gave them a dog to play with. Up to this day, I run to them for prayers. When I entered the industry, my mom spoke to some Dominican priest friends, out of fear of what I might turn out to be. Once again, they told my mom that she has to let me spread my wings and just pray to God for guidance.

I had a show in a far away province with Dominican priests, Inggo. I flew in and had to go through three hours of very rough road. All’s well that ends well. The show was good but the bonding after the show with the Dominican priests was a blast.

My wedding was officiated by 12 priests and half of them were Dominicans. When I got separated the Dominicans once again lend an ear to my pain.

FAST FORWARD TODAY. I was given the opportunity and privileged to be part of the team that organizes the Quadricentennial kick-off/Paskuhan 2009. One of our team members is a Thomasian. When we got the project, I was wondering why it landed our lap. While writing this blog, I finally understood why—thanksgiving.

I did some research and learned how rich and global UST is. The title “Royal University” was given 1784 by King Charles of Spain. The “Pontifical University” was declared September 1902 by Pope Leo XIII. The “Royal and Pontifical University of Santo Tomas” tag, being the oldest existing university in Asia and the largest Catholic University in the whole world, is such a feat. Though it’s main goal then was to educate and form future priests, now it has a population of 40,000+ with 19 colleges. It is the only university that offers Ecclesiastical courses. UST used to be the ministry of education. Gets mo? Sila mismo ang Ministry of Education. Taray!

Visit the university’s museum and you will also be given a peek into the country’s heritage/history. UST is older than the Republic of the Philippines.

The UST Main Building withstood wars, eras, and witnessed part sof our history. The university now takes care of a great deal of our heritage in their archives.

I was fortunate to see a copy of the original Noli Me Tangere with the original signature of Dr. Jose Rizal.

We had a shoot in the campus. We spoke to students and professors. I felt the passion and gratitude for UST. I saw their joy and pride as Thomasian. They kept mentioning that UST did not just educate them but deeply inculcated the faith in their hearts.

The university’s 3C was repeated to my face by every interviewee. But with its 400 years of existence? No more proof of integrity and credibility is needed to be shown.

It’s just so sad that some people are saying mean things about our group. Intriga baga?! Hanggang dito pala sa academe, merong intriga. They questioned why me, a non -Thomasian, was organizing the event. We are a team and one of our team members, Oyee Dirige-Munson, is an alumnus. According to the Q Songwriting contest, as long as a member of your family is a Thomasian, then you can participate. Well, ang dami kong pamilya na taga-UST.

It came to a point that an unidentified person approached the vice-rector and told him that I was living in with Direk GB. Low blow! Masyado po ako maraming pinagdadasal, unang-una na ang gumaling ang anak ko, kaya try ko talagang magpakabait. I am legally annulled and presently fixing my church annulment. All sorts of fictitious stories  and derogatory statements have been thrown at me. What do I have to say?

Whoever you are, tama na. Nakakapagod kaya. Can we just all unite and try to make this Quadricentennial kick-off of your alma mater a success?

UST’s 400 years is also a celebration of the Filipino education and history. Once again, a priest told me, “Huwag mo na lang pansinin. Hindi importante. Sayang ang oras. Alam mo naman ang katotohanan sa puso mo.”  Tama nga naman, Let’s just celebrate and be grateful that UST reached 400 years. Saan ka man, ano ka man, impossibleng di ka naapektuhan in one way or another ng unibersidad na ito. 400 years?! Unless non-living thing ka then wala kang kwentong UST.

COUNTDOWN.COUNT.ME.IN! 4horas,4dias,400days,400taon.

Thomasians, friends and family, kita-kits tayo sa December 18, 2009, at 7:20 p.m. The event will start with a parade of 400 participants, then Christmas tree lighting, and a lot of flabbergasting production numbers by Thomasian celebrities like Miriam Quiambao, Kim Atienza, Robert Seña, Isay Alvarez, Jamie Rivera, JC Cuadrado, Aicelle Santos, Apple Chui, RJ Jimenez, Beverly Salviejo and many more!

Watch the UST Symphony Orchestra, World Class UST Singers, energetic Salinggawi, and many more local university talents as they showcase their talents.

Free Admission. It is open to the Public. Be there and be counted. Don’t miss this historical event. We are counting on you.

Kung may Theater Arts lang sana sa UST, malamang Thomasian ako. Pero bo regrets. Happy din naman ako sa UP. I dearly love both universities.

Sagot muna sa comments from last entry:

Lezz: Sorry kung di kita nabati sa Clark. I couldn’t just say hi to everyone, especially if no one was saying hi to me. Napaka- assuming ko naman na gusto ako ng lahat ng tao. Mas disappointed yata ako na hindi mo napansin na busy ako with Quentin. Medyo hilo talaga ako pag kasama ko anak ko because he wants all my attention.

Euan001: Thank you for understanding. Gets na gets mo ako kapatid.

At sa lahat ng bumati, salamat po pero hindi pa po tapos ang kuwento…Yes friends, here’s the continuation of the story. Saang part na ba tayo? Tagaytay and singsing with matching flashback sa faces ng family ko. (CLICK HERE to read pevious entry.)

I wasn’t able to answer his question. I replied with another question: “Why? Don’t you think it’s too fast?

At sinagot nga naman niya ako ng, “Bakit sa tingin mo ba, e, bumabata ka pa?”

Thought Bubble: Parang papunta na sa insulto yung comment na yun.I couldn’t help but pour out my thoughts. I realized after going through such a rough marriage that to say “I Do” is not just about impulse or instinct or too much emotions. It’s a choice, and it’s a major decision would affect the people around us.

There are consequences and chain reactions that need to be thought of. Wow! Siguro nga, nag-mature na ako kahit papaano.

Heto pa ang itinakbo ng usapan namin…

Candy: “How ready are you?”

GB: “More than enough.”

Parang dialogue na ito sa pelikula. Iba pala pag reality na. Wala yung instant yes!Yes! Merong deep breathing exercise, closing of eyes, and a lot of fears, questions and confused emotions.

My yes wasn’t a simple yes. My yes came with a monologue or an explanation because we were confined in a situation where we both have separate responsibilities to our children.

Candy: “I think this is too fast. I don’t know kung bakit ka nagmamadali.”He always has an answer to my questions.

GB: “Bakit mo pa kasi pinatatagal, e, dun din naman ito pupunta. Unless you are not serious with us.”Parang nagulat at lalo akong nahirapan explain ang sarili ko sa statement niya.

Candy: “Of course I would like to marry you someday when things are already settled.”Then I added, “Pero kunwari hindi ko tinanggap yung ring mo at sinabi ko sa iyo na wag muna, ibig ba sabihin nun break na tayo?”

GB: “Nagpapatawa ka ba?”

Candy: “Hindi. Seryoso ako. Automatic ba yun pag hindi ko tinanggap yung ring, break na tayo? Or pag tinangap ko yung ring, ibig ba sabihin, I have to marry you soon? Saka, kung mag-no ako, paano ako uuwi, e, nasa Tagaytay tayo. Layo kaya nito.” At hindi pa ako nakunteto, nag-litanya pa ako ng mahaba with matching hand movements. Lalo namang lumalakas ang hangin sa Tagaytay.

Candy: “I am four years older than you. I don’t know kung talagang pattern mo yung mas matanda ang type mo. I have a special kid. Do you know what that means? Sacrifice or maybe even having to spend my whole life with him. How are you going to tell your kids? Honestly, I am flattered and almost in tears, but I worry about how it will affect your kids.”

Silence…

GB: “So ayaw mo?”

Candy: “Hindi naman sa ayaw ko. Pero importante sa akin ang church annulment because I think that is the right thing to do. Maybe, while we are processing our church annulments, that would be sufficient time to process ourselves, explain to the kids, get to know each other more, and see what’s going to happen from there. For a change, I want to start it right…to have a more stable relationship.”

GB: “Sa tingin mo ba hindi ko naisip ang lahat ng sinabi mo. Naisip ko na rin iyan.”There was this awkward silence of waiting.

Thought Bubble: Will I commit a sin if I get engaged without the Church annulment? Ano kaya ang reaction ng mommy ko? Ano kaya mangyayari?

GB pulled his chair beside me. He held my hands. It was really cold and the warmth of his hands was such a big help. Para kaming nagka- staring contest. We stared at each other trying to read each other’s minds. After some time, he stood up in front of me. “I know you are scared. I love Quentin. We will do our Church annulment. We will wait. We will do what is right, if that’s what’s going to make you happy.”

I pulled him and rested my head on his body. He embraced me and I held him back tightly and said, “Thank you. Thank you for understanding. Yes, I want to marry you.”

When I got home, I told my mom about it. Parang ako naman ang nag-propose sa mommy ko. Kasi yung reaction niya was exactly the same as mine. “Paano? Bilis yata? Bakit?” Hindi na ako masyado nagsalita dahil si GB na ang trumabaho to prove that he is serious and sincere.

Yes, I am engaged. I am engaged to get married.

For the time being, however, we need to fix some things para mas tama ang mga bagay-bagay. Akala yata ng iba pag engaged na ang tao, kailangan magpakasal na agad. Usually, yes. But we want a lasting relationship, and waiting and doing what is right can be such a wonderful experience.

Matagal ba ang church annulment? Hindi naman, as long as you sincerely follow all instructions and attend proceedings.

Bakit important ang church annulment? I found out that my son has improved much faster than the others…we have survived dying moments in our lives only by God’s grace. So, I want to be annulled in Church, and be given God’s grace.I need that. We all need that to survive this world also called jungle of life. We all are given second chances. I don’t want to blow my second chance. Nobody does…

So, again, for the time being, we (GB, my mom, sister MM, and myself) are back to our main concern of the moment: Christmas decor. It’s a good family bonding. Maliban sa nakikilala ng family ko si GB, na-i-enhance pa ang creative skills niya.

To top it all, may addition sa family pag Pasko. The more, the merrier, kaya bongga!Ang daming magandang puwedeng mangyari bukas. Pero sa nngayon, excited ako na batiin kayo ng “Merry Christmas!”

My cousin Myra invited me to a dinner date with her hubby, Chuck Lazaro, in Tagaytay Highlands.

Thought bubble: Ang layo naman. Saka bakit sa highlands pa?

Myra told me they have a gift certificate that can be used in one of the restaurants inside Tagaytay Highlands. It would expire daw on November 1.

Thought bubble: Sayang naman talaga ang GC. Saka nice excuse to hang out with my cousin. Guilty pa ako kasi several times na niya ako ini-invite pero di ako nakakarating. Nonetheless, mahal ko pa naman itong mag-asawang pinsan kong ito. Bakit? Basta, mahal ko sila.

I told GB about my cousins’ invitation. He agreed. I totally forgot to inform my mom about Myra’s invitation. We were actually very busy putting up our Christmas trees (three po sila). As in, meron kaming sleepless nights talaga just to finish the Christmas décor in the house. Big event kasi sa mom ko ang pag-aayos ng Christmas tree. Pati nga yung guard, driver at si direk GB, involved na involved na sa paggawa ng decor. In fairness sa guard and driver namin, ang husay na mag-ayos. Alam na ang symmetry and balance composition. Taray, di ba!

NOVEMBER 1. Super puyat kami because tinapos namin yung Christmas trees—na ang mga color motif ay pink, lavender, and gold—sa garage area. Nag-12:00 noon mass pa ako.

GB arrived around 3:00 pm at my place. I was in a rush dressing up because Myra was harassing me to be in Tagaytay by 6:00 pm. Parang magsasarado naman yung restaurant ng 7:00 pm. Ang taba ko naman talaga at parang black lang ang puwede kong suotin. Mga damit ko, hindi kasya ang braso ko. Kakasya naman, kaso malaki ang chance na tumigil ang dugo

On the way to Tagaytay, I fell asleep. Plakda talaga ako. Nagising ako, nasa Tagaytay na kami. GB told me that we’re going to meet my cousin at their house in Tagaytay because Myra would be coming from Enchanted Kingdom, and her hubby, from a tennis tournament.

Thought bubble: Ang yayabang naman nitong si Myra mang-harass ‘tapos siya pala ang late. Okay na rin because I really need to use the comfort room.

The gate of the house was already wide opened and the caretaker was waiting for us. I asked him where Myra was. He just pointed at something without saying anything. Hindi na ako nag-abala mag-usisa at CR na CR na ako.

But GB forcefully led me to the back entrance.

I saw tea light candles all over the house. Ay, brownout pa yata. Malas naman. Kakatakot pa naman pag brownout.

Tilt down ang eyes ko, I saw petals of red roses. (Fast heartbeat…)

GB quietly led me to the veranda area.

(Faster heartbeat…) Then I saw a tent set-up with twig lights at the garden area, overlooking Taal volcano and with the sunset to complete the whole picture.

Thought bubble: Ganda! Kilig! Ang sweet! Abala talaga itong si GB!

Anak ng tokwa tagal kong nagbihis wala naman palang makakakita sa akin. Whew! At oo, naiihi pa rin ako. Pero anti-climactic naman kung mag-CR ako agad. Bilang kita ko naman na parang excited si GB makita ang reaction ko. Ibinigay ko na sa kanya yung appreciation. Pigil pantog muna ako.

GB got my mobile phone. “You are not allowed to use your mobile inside our exclusive restaurant. Tonight, I shall be your official waiter. This is what you call personal service,” say ni GB.

Thought bubble: Baka naman self-service…

When did you prepare all these? Why? Picnic basket ito ni Myra noh. Saka, formal setting? I’m sure, merong tumulong sa iyo. Ginambala mo ba ang pinsan ko? I asked those questions.

“You are also not allowed to ask questions. Let the night’s details be a mystery,” he answered.

Thought bubble: Napakarami namang rules dito sa restaurant niyo. Saka sobrang ginaw kaya.

(Read more… )

Thursday, October 29 @ 8:06 am

Sad ako…Pasensya na. At ang matindi nito, kasalanan ko yung pagka-inis ko sa sarili ko. Time…

Today I have learned a very valuable lesson about being on time.

I was so excited since last week to go up to Baguio for an outreach program for the typhoon victims. I’ve been sending text messages to people asking their support until Ma’am Cory Vidanes, vice-president of ABS-CBN, generously replied saying Sagip Kapamilya is really planning to go up and distribute goods. We decided to consolidate our efforts.

Monday, October 26

Monchet advised me that Ma’am Cory is inviting me to take the trip to Baguio via plane para raw mas convenient kesa sa road trip. Boooy! I was really excited. I was able to collect goods from friends like Gelli De Belen, Carmina Villarroel and Eugene Go of EQ Diapers.

The goods that I collected would be coursed through the office of Congressman Domogan. Maraming goods namang dala ang Sagip Kapamilya. Saya-saya!

October 29 @ 5:00 am

I was already up, getting ready for the trip. Papunta na ako ng bathroom. I saw my portable pink DVD player calling me to watch while in the bathroom…Again, I gave in.

6:00 am: Direk GB was already at my house to drive me to Pasay Hangar, where I would be joining Ma’am Cory Vidanes, Kris Aquino, and good friend Angel Locsin. Okay! Na-stress ako magbihis kung black, white, yellow, red… Kasi nga ang taba ako ngayon kaya ang hirap magbihis. Grrr! As in Grrrr!

6:40 am: We were already on the road to Pasay. Traffic! Todo!

7:20 am: Ma’am Cory texted me, asking me kung saan na ako. We were still in Mandaluyong area.

7:25 am: I told them to go ahead and don’t wait for me. There’s air traffic that have to be considered. Kakahiya kaya sa mga kasamahan ko.

On the way, Direk GB was lecturing me about “Respecting the time of other people.” He was grumbling about my addiction to American and Korean series. I was, yes, totally pissed with him.

Finally, I put down the phone with Ma’am Cory Vidanes and realized that I was left behind because of my bagal-arte-kupad attitude.

We made a U-turn and headed back home. My bad. There was no one to blame but myself. I couldn’t blame Q who made lambing pa to me, and that stalled my time a bit. But it was my entire fault.

When I was in theater, I so hated people who were late. Bakit pag taping and work-related, di naman ako late? I should check my hearts’ intention for today’s outreach. Baka naman excited lang ako sumakay ng plane, di kay? Baka excursion at hindi outreach ang tingin ko sa lakad na ito? Reasons I made up to excuse myself from the real problem, which is tardiness.

Today, I hate myself for being tardy. It is a weakness that I need to overcome. And I should really respect people’s time. Parang I don’t know how to calculate time. I was just talking about there’s a time for everything and here I am, always making more time to watch these series.

I just heard my mom sayt we can go to Baguio now and join the outreach set for 3:00 pm, Friday. I can also bring Quentin for the long land trip. That would be exciting for him.

(Deep breathe) Life goes on as I pledge never to be late again ever.

Bait talaga ng mothers. Sabi ng mommy ko, halika mag-Dapitan na lang tayo at mag-ayos ng Christmas Tree. Family bonding. Haaaay! Nakaka-konsensya, pati ibang tao affected sa emotions ko. Dugtong-dugtong nga talaga ang buhay ng mga tao. It’s a chain reaction.

American time. Filipino Time. Just be on time.

Be a child, life is easier.

My only boy Quentin recently celebrated his 6th birthday last October 16. Heto na, last day of classes yun and we weren’t allowed to celebrate in school that day due to school activities. I had no choice but to celebrate his birthday three days earlier than the last day of regular classes.

Panic: Stresss! Kailangan daw ng invitations according sa yaya.

Huh? Ang demanding ng mga batang ito. Hindi pa sila puwede sa text pass na lang. Kahit inform na lang sila?

“Ay mam, baka hindi po sila magdala ng regalo para kay Quentin?”

“Sabagay, kahit pencil lang naman, masaya na ang bata. Important meron siyang binubuksan. Importante meron siyang party sa school with classmates. Para malaman niya na birthday niya,” ang singit comment ni Granny.

Heto na ako. Ayoko ng mga ready-made na invites. Gusto ko medyo special. Para naman iba. I tried to do a personalized invite for Q. It took me two long nights trying to lay out a Mickey mouse personal invite for Q. Stresss! Hirap pala! Kaya naman pala, nagbabayad sa mga expert na nag-layout kasi it really takes so much time, effort, and patience for someone like me who’s doing this for the first time. I usually ask friends to do this for me. Pero ngayon, crunch time, dyahe!

Yippee! Nakatapos ako. Pina-print sa Kodak! Halos tumambling ako sa tuwa nang nakita ni Quentin yung invite at sinabi niya. “Wow! It’s Mickey Mouse and me!” Yes, it’s Mickey Mouse and you, and mom’s labor of love.

Tawag agad sa Fernando’s bakery. Order ako ng two cakes. 1 Mickey Mouse cake for school and 1 Pocoyo-inspired cake on the day of his birthday. Wala lang. Para sa birthday niya, meron naman siyang cake. I called my friend Jmee, from party links to help me out with the loot bags, party favors, balloons, standee, etc. Basta ang point, kailangan si Mickey Mouse, ka-join sa party. Salamat talaga kay Walt Disney sa ligayang dinudulot ni Mickey sa bagets. Pinapili ko na nga ang anak ko kung mom or Mickey. Nakakaloka kasi parang nahirapan talaga siyang mamili. Hindi ko na inalam ang sagot at baka masaktan ako.

Tuesday: Stress! Umaga pa lang, aligaga na ang lahat sa bahay. Quentin telling everyone, “It’s my early happy birthday to me.”

It was a simple celebration. Q gave away Mickey Mouse director’s chair, balloons, and hats. We brought Jollibee burgers, spaghetti and barbecue. Sarap ng barbecue na inorder ni granny sa may Road 8, kila Gongon. Ang sarap ng sauce sa halagang 15 pesos each.

I was amazed by the reaction of the kids after seeing the two Mickey Mouse standees. I was gladly surprised when the teachers said, “Ganda naman ng invitations ni Q, kasi personalized.” Kung alam lang nila…

We all sang the happy birthday song. Q blew his Mickey Mouse cake then eating time. After a while, kids were asked to fall in line for the loot bags or director’s chairs.

I heard Q call the names of each of his classmates. I was shocked that he knows all their names. He loves all his classmates…dearly loves them that the teacher told me whenever a student is crying, Q would be the first to console him/ her. He will offer a tissue, pat their backs or say, “stop na.” My boy has social skills.

The school party was simple. Q went home happy. Q kept thanking everyone in school.

Everyday since Tuesday celebration became his birthday until today. Why? Friday came and it was his real birthday. He went to school early for their school presentation. He was such a winner. He obediently held the flag for the national anthem. He wore his costume. He danced. He enjoyed every minute of his stage appearance. He was such a trooper.

He knew it was his birthday and parang ok lang naman siya, steady lang. I had a shoot that day. Stress! I was calling to check on Q’s whereabouts. He spent his day sliding in McDonald’s. Kamusta naman siya? Happy naman siya. My shoot finished early. Just in time for me to see his reaction upon seeing his Pocoyo Birthday cake. “Wow, Pocoyo! Wow! Pato and Eli! Pocoyo! Happy Birthday to me!” exclaimed Quentin. He was really very, very, very happy. Indeed, ang ganda naman talaga ng cake. Sobra!

Kung sino man ang gumawa kay Pocoyo, thank you. Kung gaano naman ka-in love ang anak ko kay Pocoyo, marami ang hindi sa kanya nakakilala. Kaloka! Care ko kung di niyo kilala si Pocoyo. Pero ang anak ko napapa-indak ni Pocoyo nang todo.

Friday, 9:00 pm: Mom told me, “Ipag-party natin si Quentin bukas, kahit konting bata lang. Sayang naman ang cake niya. Ikaw nga noon bata ka, ang liit ng cake mo tuwing birthday mo. Pinapatong ko lang sa kahon para tumaas. Saka ako nag-iimbita ng maraming bata para sa cake-blowing.”

Saturday instant party: Stresssssssssss! I texted mostly neighbors, para di naman dyahe kasi biglaan. People came with their kids. Instant food. Instant loot bags. We were thinking of games which would entertain the kids. Pero di naman pala kailangan ng games. Patok ang bola at isang slide sa lahat ng bata.

We were watching Quentin as he played and mingled. “Alam niya talaga na birthday niya. Kahit cake blowing, very cooperative siya.” Granny said

As I was watching the Quentin, I felt so blessed. Finally, my son is enjoying his party. This is the first time I’ve seen him really having so much fun. Naiintindihan na niya ang concept ng party and play. At naiintindihan na slightly siya. Kahit siguro hotdog lang ang i-serve ko, okay lang. Tawa ng tawa si Quentin…Parang ang dali naman pala ng trip nila. Hindi naman kailangan yung mga complicated and bonggang celebration. Kaya simple, kaya masaya, kasi bata, e.

Last October 17, I realized that a heart of a child is what we all need to make our lives easier. A heart of a child is easy to please, and appreciates the given. I’ve been stressed out recently because I’ve forgotten to use the child in me.

Parati ko na lang yata sinasabi yung “life is short” pero kamakailan lang ay bonggang-bonggang sinampal sa fez ko ang true meaning nito.

Sumakabilang-buhay o parlor na po si Nanay Lydia, ang ina ni Direk Wenn V.Deramas. Halos gabi-gabi ay nandoon ako, mali…Gabi-gabi pala ay nandoon kami (ako, direk GB, Mama Taba, sister ko si MM, at ang mga amiga nina Mama na sina Sis Titus, Sis Baby, atbp.) Opo, tumpak, gabi-gabi ay nandoon po kaming buong pamilya, si Quentin lang ang hindi nakabisita bilang bagets. Parang kami nga ang namatayan. Bakit? Ako ang naatasan na magdala ng pari na magmimisa gabi-gabi doon sa wake.

Sa dami namang kilala ng mommy ko na pari ay inako ko na po ang responsibilidad. Gaano kadami? Madami talaga. Remember 12 pari plus 1 bishop ang nagkasal sa akin? Kaya heto ako, wala pang two years, hiwalay. Ang meaning ay tumodo dasal ang mga pari, kaya nagbigyan ako ng grasya na di pahabain ang paghihirap ko. No matter what, alam ko naman na may magandang kinahantungan ang pagdarasal nila.

Sa gabi-gabi kong pag-bring ng pari sa wake, wala naman akong ibang choice kungdi maki-mass na rin. Seven days ang lamay kaya one week straight din po ang mass ko. In fairness kay Nanay Lydia, napa-everyday mass mo ako.

Fr. Vic Sedaya, Claretian priest and Formator presided the mass on the first night. He said something that struck me big time. “When we come face to face with death, we think of our life. Death is a picture of a life lived. That’s why when we go to wakes; we talk about how the person lived her life with you. We sit quietly and think about our own lives; how we live it. Living a life worth living is living a life with purpose.”

Whew…ang bigat naman Father…Purpose in life na ang pinag-uusapan dito. Heavigat nang over! Tuloy ang misa. Deadma na muna sa purpose na yan at masakit sa membrane. Hehe.

Akala ng iba, madali lang mag-invite ng pari. Kailangan mo rin silang asikasuhin, chikahin at pakisamahan. Nakakahiya naman kung tratuhin mo sila na parang hired driver of the day. Kung yung driver nga, matinding pagsusuri ang ginagawa bago makapili, ganun din sa pari. Sa una kasi, ipagkakatiwala mo ang buhay mo. Sa pangalawa naman, ang kaluluwa mo.

Well, base sa experience meron din naman talagang kanya-kanyang strength ang mga pari, bilang human beings din sila. Some of them are really good speakers. Others have the ability to bring you to heavenly peace once they start reciting their sermon. Heavenly peace kasi, makakatulog ka sa boredom. Some priests can test your patience. Yung mga di ko maintindihan magsalita kasi foreigners, so iba ang accent ng English and Filipino nila. Pero minsan naman, hindi mahusay sa sermon pero mahusay naman sa counseling.

Believe it or not, gabi-gabi rin after ng lamay ay meron kaming post-mass meeting assessment. We discuss what happened. We also have a pre-mass meeting, where we discuss and decide who will be the next priest.

Usually, ako ang sumundo kaya ako rin ang maghahatid sa kanila. Hindi ko natiis at tinanong ko ang one-million question. Ano po ba yung purpose ko? Paano ko malalaman? Ano po ba, parang magiging prophet ako or ala-Mike Velarde? Hindi ko yata kaya. I have nothing against Mike. As a matter of fact, I totally admire the work he’s been doing.

Sabi ni Father, “huwag mo i-complicate ang buhay mo, and do just what you have to do. God gave you a kid then you are purposely made to be a mother. Be a good mother. You are given the talent to perform and a gift of humor, then make people laugh to ease out their pains. Kanya-kanya tayong purpose. Walang gayahan ng purpose.”

Si nanay Lydia passed away at 77 years old. My mom is 72 years old. Ibig ba sabihin 5 years na lang? Well, it all depends if she has already fulfilled her purpose.

Nung day of the burial, isang Dominican priest naman ang nag-celebrate ng mass. Nagpatawa ito at nagsabing, “Bakit ang pari sa patay lang kinukumbida? Bakit hindi invited ‘pag birthday? Pero okay na rin kasi minsan lang naman mamatay ang tao, puwede itong makailang birthday. Kaya kung sino ang mga nakita niyo dito sa lamay, na dumamay ay mga kaibigan niyong totoo. Kasi hindi party ang pinuntahan kung hindi ikaw mismo at ang pamilya mo.”

Napatingin ako sa paligid, may mukha akong nakita na ilang gabi ko nang nakikita sa burol. Napaisip ako sa mga taong pumunta, dumaan, chumika, kumain, at naki-misa. Napa-isip tuloy ako kung maraming pupunta sa lamay ko. Depende iyan siguro kung lubos kong nagawa yung purpose ko in life.

“Aray!” say na again ng membrane ko na feeling melodramatic na sa eksena sa punenarya. Nagsalita si Direk Wenn, hindi ako naiiyak, okay ako. Tanggap ko. Nauna lang si nanay, susunod ka rin. Bakit ako agad? E, mas matanda si Direk sa akin. Bakit hindi puwedeng siya?

Sabi ni Direk Wenn sa akin noong third night, hindi raw sila nakapagpaalamanan nang maayos. Mula noong gabi na yun, natuto na akong magpaalam sa mama ko tuwing aalis ako ng bahay. Dati kasi, deadma na sa goodbye. Mahirap pala yun kasi “Life is too short.”

Hindi natin alam kung kailan ang ending natin. Pero pag sinabi Niya sa taas na finish or not finish, pass your papers! Pass your papers na talaga. Tapos bibigyan ng grade ni Lord ang buhay natin. Whew! Kaya nga ako nagsulat ng entry agad kasi itong simple responsibilidad kong sumulat, purposely for Filipinos worldwide, ‘di ko nagagawa nang maayos. Bagsak na agad ako sa grading. Pero hangga’t ‘di pa pass your papers, gawa lang ng gawa nang makabawi sa low grades.

Living a life with a purpose is living a life to the fullest.

Not living a good life is living it for the foulest.

Hindi ko naman pala kailangan maging madre, o magsilbi nang OA sa church. I just have to do my job well and try to live a good life. Parang madali noh…Yun na nga ang ginagawa ko every day at parang di siya ganun kadali.